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The second I found out...

January 27, 2019

“The second I found out I was pregnant I knew in my heart I wasn’t keeping it. The following week the internet became my best friend—every day after work I would watch videos and read women’s stories about their experiences and how they felt afterwards. I finally made an appointment with Planned Parenthood.

 

I didn’t tell anyone but one of my sisters and she was very supportive and agreed to come with me to my appointment. The day of my appointment I was so scared. My anxiety was through the roof and the appointment was very early, and luckily there were no protesters. From doing my research I had made up my mind that I wanted the pill. After they did an ultrasound and testing, they told me my iron was on the low side, but I could probably still get the pill. About 15 minutes later a nurse came in and told me that the doctors didn’t feel it was safe, so my only option was to do the in-clinic surgical procedure or come back in a week and see if my iron levels were up, but that wasn’t likely to happen.

 

I cried. I was set on the pill and the thought of having the suction procedure made it more real. That was my only option and I decided to go through with it. I had to wait for about 2 hours before going back, I decided I didn’t want any sedation, so I was awake and conscious through it all. The nurse who was with me, distracting me, was very comforting. She told me it was all going to be okay.

 

The doctor doing the procedure talked me though it all and told me exactly what they were going to do before they did it. It was painful, but tolerable once it was over. The nurse told me to take my time and that she would wait for me outside. I sat up and I bawled, I felt this emptiness. I got myself together and went to the recovery room, I had no cramps and I was bleeding just a tiny bit. I didn’t know what to expect and I was so scared going in. But it was okay. There were different women there all going through the same thing which was a bit comforting. I hope this helps anyone who is going through the same thing and just know that it will be okay.”   —Anonymous

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