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I was 18 years old and a mom...

January 25, 2019

“I was 18 years old and a mom to my three-year-old little girl when I found out I was pregnant. I knew how different it was going to be from the moment I found out. I didn’t get the same feeling as when I found out I was pregnant the first time. With my oldest daughter, I was scared yet excited and loved my precious baby instantly. With this one I felt shame and disgust. I didn’t have feelings for the dad, and he was living a not so great lifestyle and I just remember sitting alone in my room just thinking how I ruined mine and my daughter’s life from one mistake.


Her dad and I were on and off. This guy I was seeing was a little younger than me and liked to get into trouble. I was just about to graduate high school. I knew I was stuck. I talked to this guy and told him what my plan was, he wasn’t happy but also didn’t believe I’d go through with it. So, I called Planned Parenthood and I had to do a schedule conference call with other girls. It was a long process. Then I scheduled the actual day and drove 2 hours to the clinic.


My mom has always been against abortion, but she went with me. I remember standing outside before they opened in Pittsburgh and the protesters were calling me a murderer and a disgrace. I was sad. It was so painful, and I remember even passing out from the pain. There were so many girls there. I believe I was around 7 weeks. It was so surreal for me.


Two years later, I don’t think about it and I feel no guilt. I knew that pregnancy wasn’t meant to be and I’m not sorry about my decision. I will always stand by my beliefs and what is right for me. Women matter too. I just didn’t feel love for that child, and I knew it was wrong in every way. But it’s honest and I know that in the end it was right. Always do what you think is best. Never less.” 


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