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I am 21 and I live in an amazing city...

January 5, 2019

“I am 21 and I live in an amazing city, with an amazing group of friends. I got pregnant stupidly. I was drunk at a party with an old friend and we ended up hooking up. I didn’t think much of it. A few weeks later I realized my body wasn’t right. I felt faint and tired and felt like I wanted to throw up all the time. In my head the thought of being pregnant was not an option.

 

My flat mate made me take the test, and to my surprise I was pregnant. I didn’t know how to feel... was I meant to feel bad? I isolated myself for a long time after that from parties, meeting up with friends or doing anything. I made the decision to tell the guy I hooked up with that I was pregnant. He called me about 30 times to check that I was definitely having an abortion, which didn’t help me. I’ve never felt so alone in my entire life.

 

Unfortunately, all of this landed over Christmas, I wanted to tell my mum so badly as I knew she was the best person to help me. It took me days to tell her, and eventually I broke down to her on Christmas Day about this secret I was keeping. If anyone is unsure on if they want to tell their mum or not just remember she will be there for you, you don’t realize how much you need the support until you have your mum. However, I couldn’t tell my dad.

 

My abortion has been the hardest thing, both physically and emotionally, that I’ve ever done. I walked into the clinic with my mum, I saw a wide range of different people sitting there, and tears started to roll down my face as I realized this was it. But I knew it was for the best.

 

The first thing that happened was I got scanned... this was the hardest part. She said I was 8 weeks and 3 days, but it didn’t feel that long. As she scanned me, tears started to roll down my cheeks... I’ve always thought of this day to be positive, but for me it was a horrible realization that this was all real. I went to each room quickly, they took my blood and blood pressure, they gave me three different chats about the pills, I took one pill at the clinic and took the other away.

 

My mum took me back home away from the city and away from friends to get some space to do this properly. They had given me very strong pain killers, and as I took one painkiller I realized something wasn’t right, I then proceeded to take the second pill which I was warned would hurt... I wasn’t expecting what happened next. I had an allergic reaction to the painkillers whilst I was being sick and having cold and hot sweats. I realized something had gone wrong.

 

After a few hours, it passed. I felt better. Just sore. But luckily, I had my mum. My mum said she would have been ‘devasted’ if I hadn’t told her. I realized this was the best decision for me at this point in my life. Make sure you have a strong unit around you... is my only advice.”  —Anonymous

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