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I found out I was pregnant...

September 20, 2018

“I found out I was pregnant August 28th, 2018. It wasn’t a happy moment for me. I was in shock and when I saw the two lines I started freaking out. I was crying and hyperventilating. I was in so much shock. I didn’t know how to feel.

 

I later went to the doctors to confirm and I was indeed pregnant. I had so many emotions so many regrets. This was not a planned pregnancy and I was making stupid decisions. Going out, getting drunk, and fooling around. The guy who got me pregnant had sex with me when I was drunk. He took off the condom and came in me. It was just a one-night stand. When I found out I was pregnant, I told him. And he was not supportive. He told me I needed to abort it, he offered me money, wished a miscarriage on me and told me he was getting married next year, and it would ruin his life.

 

Keep in mind I never knew this guy, we hooked up once and never talked again. But I had previous text messages in my phone from the night we met. I didn’t care what he had to say. It was my choice. It’s always your choice don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. I decided to go through with the pregnancy. A small piece of me was excited.

 

I tried picturing what he or she would like. I thought of baby names. I pictured the new career path I would choose. As I reached 7 weeks, I was really sick. I was throwing up every day. I had severe headaches and back aches and it was all starting to feel real. I was missing class, and this is my last year in college. I started thinking about this heavily and if this was the right decision for me. I wasn’t in a good financial place or emotional place. And I didn’t want to be a single mother. I had mixed opinions on what I should do. But no one knows better than you do.

 

Finally, I decided to get an abortion. I did the pill abortion at 8 weeks and 2 days. It was by far the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. I was fine for a while. And then 5 hours passed after I had inserted the pills vaginally and I had my first passing. The cramps happened shortly after. The pain pills did nothing. I was in pain for 7 hours. It was straight crying and screaming into my pillow. I remember wanting to die because I couldn’t bare the pain anymore. It’s hard physically and emotionally.

 

But I don’t regret my decision. I feel that this was the right decision for myself at where I’m at in life. I’m still so young and I want to experience life more. If you’re stuck between abortion or continuing your pregnancy, make the decision for yourself and for no one else. And know that you’re mentally and physically stronger than you think you are. If you can do this, you can overcome anything. It will be okay.”  —Anonymous

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