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This not my abortion story...

September 10, 2018

“This is not my abortion story. These are my abortion stories. That’s right. I’ve had two. After two Paragard IUD failures.

 

The first was a year and three months ago. After having the Paragard for about 4 years. I was in shock. I already had a 6.5-year-old at the time. A boyfriend of 9 months. Full-time single mom. It just was not the right time and really, I didn’t have any desire to have another child which is why I chose the IUD.

I was scared to death. Afraid of how I would feel about myself after the abortion. But I was also afraid of how I would feel 9 months later with a newborn baby. I chose the surgical abortion. They performed it at 5 weeks 4 days. It was a long day at the clinic but the procedure itself was short. I didn’t feel at all as bad as I thought I would that day.

 

I recovered at my boyfriend’s house that night and I went on about my life. I met with my doctor who assured me this was a complete fluke of the IUD and we inserted another one... this time she made sure it was “way up there in perfect place”. Fast forward 1 year and 3 months later. I’m late for my period by maybe one or two days. My boobs feel like rocks. I know I’m pregnant. But really? Who gets pregnant twice with an IUD? I take three total tests in 12 hours and all three are positive.

 

My doctor suggests the pill form of abortion. So, I went in to that same dreadful clinic which I never thought I’d have to go back. I get the first pill. Then wait 24 hours. During that 24 hours it’s just like a “normal” day. I use “normal” lightly. By the way I was only 4 weeks. 4 days. I wake up go to church (hoping not to be struck by lightning), go for a run, play tennis, have a bite to eat, take 4 ibuprofen and finally am able to insert the second set of pills. Then I wait.

 

I lay for 1.5 hours and finally have to pee. A little blood when I wipe but that’s it. I wait for crashing labor pains because that’s what the internet made me think was going to happen. A few hours go by. I feel “movement”, but I wouldn’t describe it as pain. It didn’t feel good, but it was not bad at all. I got up walked around, sat outside, back to bed, back up, etc. etc. I was restless. I experienced clotting when I peed but that was it. Some blood on my pad but never soaked through at all. Blood when I wiped yes. I would say the process after Insertion was about 4-5 hours, but I never felt that “ok this is it”.

 

It’s the next day. I had some cramps around midnight after my Ibuprofen wore off. (I took a dose 4 hours after the first dose by the way, just to stay ahead of the pain). I’m bleeding but nothing bad. I walked 4 miles today and went to work. The mental anguish and waiting game were way worse than anything else. I would describe the “pain” as a mild- medium period cramp maybe.

I can’t say which type of abortion I’d choose over the other. The surgical there was more “closure”. I knew it was over. The medical (pill) you are awake, so you never really know the beginning from end. I like that I did not have to be put to sleep. But the surgical is way faster. I don’t know how I’m feeling yet.

 

It’s only been a day really. I don’t regret my decision, but it does suck I even had to be in this position at all. I’m getting my tubes tied in a few weeks. Due to a blood clotting disorder I can’t have hormones. If you’re reading this, you must be in a similar situation. I am not proud of any of this. But I also know I was doing what I had to do to not get pregnant... or so I thought. I am with the same guy as first abortion, but we just don’t want kids (aside from my son I already have). You are strong. Trust your decision. And you’ll look back one day, and this will just be another bump (mountain) in the road. But you’ll get through.”  —Anonymous

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