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So here it is…

June 16, 2018

“So here it is… My termination story. It was the 21st of April 2018... that night my partner and I had arrived to his place after going shopping for dinner that night... I also purchased a test, as I was 8 weeks late for my period. But before I get into that, 4 weeks before this day I had went to my doctor and told them I was 4 weeks late for my period. I had taken 4 urine tests before I attended the medical centre, all were negative, but I still felt something in the back of my mind that wasn’t right, although I kept telling myself that it’s probably stress related to why my period was late. Maybe high blood glucose levels could be tampering with it as well, (I am also type one diabetic/insulin dependent).

 

After advising my doctor of the situation she sent me for a blood test. I got the results the next day stating it was a negative. Immediately I assumed what I had been thinking could be the possible cause which was the high blood glucose and stress. So 4 weeks later I still had not received my period, which was odd as my periods were regular, and I’m also on the pill. I noticed I had missed some but I didn’t think anything of it, as I had been working nonstop and so extremely busy that I had forgotten to take my pill before bed.

 

My mother had noticed and also myself that I had gained a bit of weight. So back to the night I bought the test with my partner, I had ran into the bathroom as he was unpacking, and unwrapped the box and peed on the stick. But I was paranoid due to his dads girlfriend being home and I didn’t want her to suspect anything, so I put the cap back on quickly and shoved it back into the plastic bag. I flushed the toilet, washed my hands and ran to my partners bedroom and hid it in his bedside table and went back to the kitchen to cook dinner and to finish unpacking.

 

My partner and I had finished dinner and went back to our bedroom to watch a movie when he had asked the results. By this time I had forgotten all about it and asked him to grab it out of the drawer. We both looked at each other as we saw a faint line. I am pregnant.

 

It gave us both mixed emotions as right now we are not financially stable. I messaged my closest friends and asked if it was possible it was mistaken (one has a 2-year-old) and they advised me it’s rare to get a fake positive.

 

My partner and I went to the doctors for a blood test again to be sure and it was positive. It took us both a week to realise it’s not fair to bring a child in this world right now with our financial situation. He did not want a child right now as well which is his opinion which is also fair he is entitled to that. I was so set on keeping our first child but due to the possibilities of my child not developing properly due to my medical situation at the last minute I decided to go ahead with a medical abortion.

 

I’m honestly not coping the best right now but I am sure I made the right decision, as hard as it was, I made the decision that was right for the unborn child. Every day is a struggle and every day I think what could have been, and it tears me apart each and every day that little bit more. Although I was only 8 weeks along I still felt ready to go ahead with raising my child. But reality sunk in and I wasn’t in the right situation. It’s the hardest, most difficult thing I have ever had to do in my entire life.”  —Candice

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