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I kept telling myself I was just getting my period soon, until two weeks passed and still no blood...

December 11, 2016

“My period is extremely irregular, but I usually know when it's coming because I get super moody, my breasts are tender, and I start cramping two or three days before. So I had all these symptoms and I kept telling myself I was just getting my period soon, until two weeks passed and still no blood but a lot of symptoms were present.

 

So then decided to take a test at home and to my surprise the test appeared positive. I kept thinking "No way, this must be wrong" but at the same time it would have explained why I had been feeling all these weird things lately.

 

After taking three more tests because I was in such disbelief, I made an appointment with Planned Parenthood to take the abortion pills. I always told myself that if I got pregnant I would get an abortion, unless I of course felt that I was capable of being responsible for another human life. Which I currently am not ready to do as a twenty one year old. Not to mention half the time I have like twenty bucks in my bank account. Not enough for diapers, a crib, etc. Straight up can't even afford to feed myself sometimes because of that broke college life.

 

It was a bit sad because my boyfriend of six years and I have talked about having kids together. We basically got our wish, it was just really bad timing since we don't plan on having kids til our late twenties to early thirties. We aren't ready for the parenting life financially, emotionally, etc. I hadn't told my mom or anyone in my family because they're Hispanic and religious AF so it would have been made a big deal. I really didn't want this to be any kind of deal at all, I knew what I wanted to do and that was that. This was a mistake and it would be over soon.

 

But anyway, I went to PP the day of my appt and was really comforted by the non judgmental staff. I got an ultrasound done and was told I was five weeks and six days pregnant. You don't have to, but I chose to see the screen and the fetus looked like a little bean.

 

Got some blood taken after to make sure my hemoglobin levels were okay to take the pills since you're losing quite a bit of blood during the abortion. I took the first pill that stops progesterone in your body at PP. Then the Dr. gave me all the pain, nausea, and antibiotic medication along with the four pills you take on day two that does the actual evacuation of the uterus. It all went down smoothly and everything was thoroughly explained to me. I left content and comfortable.

 

Day two I stayed home because you need to rest and honestly it was such a painful experience. I woke up and hadn't even taken the second set of pills, was already vomiting and dizzy etc. I ate breakfast when that wore off and then took four advil, nausea meds, and then the second set all thirty mins apart.

 

After the second set I truly felt awful but thankfully had heating pads for cramps which helped a ton. Was in fetal position for a good four hours but overall felt like I was just having a heavy period with bad cramps. It was hard to get up and walk around so I was in bed for most of the day with everything I needed at arms reach. Crackers, water bottles, pain and nausea meds, tissues, you name it. My mom asked if I was okay because at one point I got a slight fever but I told her I had a stomach virus and my period at the same time which she didn't question.

 

This was yesterday and I'm already feeling much much better. I don't regret anything, I just regret being irresponsible and letting myself get too comfortable when it comes to sex with my boyfriend. I believe everything happens for a reason and this was a lesson I needed to learn. I wouldn't want to go through having an abortion again, so lesson definitely learned.

 

Sorry this is so long but just know that you are not alone and not all of us are capable of raising a child during certain points of our lives. It doesn't make you any less of a good human being if you decide you want to put your life first and figure your path out before committing to another human life. You need to do what you know will be best for you in the end.”  —Katherine

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