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I decided to take a pregnancy test to calm my nerves and wait for the red river to run...

December 11, 2016

“I found out I was pregnant the week after the Fourth of July. I had missed my period before so there wasn't much reason to freak out; despite this, I decided to take a pregnancy test to calm my nerves and wait for the red river to run.

 

I sat on the toilet in my apartment by myself waiting for the results. When the results came back positive- I thought there must've been a mistake. I took another and nothing changed. I was pregnant.

 

I called my fiancé completely frantic. I thought of all the hard work I had done to get my undergrad degree and to get into my masters program. I literally watched as my plans crumbled. I grew up with a single mother who's escapades with men never seemed to work out; nevertheless, they almost certainly resulted in another mouth to feed. My mom worked tirelessly but wasn't able to do more than the bare necessity.

 

This wasn't just a thing with my mom- it was a systemic thing with my whole family. I was the first to graduate high school- let alone college. I thought about the way I grew up. My mother did the best she could but I wanted to be able to do more. Where I was in life at the time- it wasn't possible.

 

All of this combined with the fact that I had been extremely stressed the past month. I suffer from depression and anxiety. I had migraines 6 out of the 7 days in a week and was popping migraine mess like they were candy.

 

When the Fourth of July came around my fiancé handed me a drink and told me to unwind because I had been so stressed and deserved to relax. I drank that drink unknowing of where I would be a week later. I am so thankful for a compassionate fiancé who did his best to be there for me.

 

I decided to terminate the pregnancy and went to my local planned parenthood and received the medication. I laid in my bed with warm compresses, pain medications and my cat and quietly went through with the abortion. I am so thankful for this choice because it made me more conscientious and allowed me the freedom to continue my education; ultimately resulting in me accomplishing my dreams.

 

I don't regret my decision… and one day I hope to explain that decision to my daughter so she knows why this choice is important. I hope that I can be of some help for those of you reading this. I know these posts helped me and I would love to give back.”  — Sierra

 

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