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I am currently 19 years old and I found out about 2 weeks ago...

November 11, 2016

"I am currently 19 years old and i found out about 2 weeks ago that i was 6 weeks pregnant with my (now ex) boyfriends baby. At first I felt nothingness. I starred at the pregnancy tests with him as we sat in the bathroom. He was happy but i could tell he was a little nervous. I honestly felt nothing. And its been a while that i feel nothingness over a very serious event. After that we decided to go to go to the doctor to confirm. And of course after 3 positive at home tests and one at the docs i was obviously preggo.

 

My boyfriend is a very JEALOUS boy (20yr old). I could have sworn he was the love of my life about 11 months ago. And the whole 11 months until now it's been hell. After a bad situation at home that left me no choice but to move in with him, i had already stopped using birth control and we never used protection due to both of us being clean, i let myself be.

 

Mind you this man is manipulative/jealous/insecure/and fucking insane. I had previously been humiliated by him and his agressive drunk behavior out in public. Of course i didn't choose to go out with him while he was drunk, but these incidents of agressive behavior were when i tried to leave/escape the small bedroom we rented after an argument. I was once stalked all the way home by him. Tackled. Kicked in the chest. Pushed to the wall. Choked. Etc.

 

All these things i could never tell my mother, that happened to me, out of embarrassment. I never let someone treat me this way. I am a very confident hard working smart woman. And before this i couldnt ever imagine going through any of these unspeakable things.

 

All these memories kept coming back to mind as these two weeks passed by. And one day after having trouble finding an obgyn to go to with this pregnancy and NO help from him, i came to the conclusion. Its either my life, or the baby's.

 

I could never imagine getting treated with disrespect by this guy ever AGAIN. And have to have any strings attatched to this person for the next 18 yrs or for THE REST OF MY LIFE. I have lost a job due to him. And now that i have a good office job with a recent promotion, (i was promoted within 3 months) i wasnt going to let that slip away due to a hell hole this guy brought to me and a baby that would keep me in that fucked up lifestyle.

 

So i decided to get an appointment to have a medical abortion. And here i am now back at home with my mother and people who love me. Awaiting the 17th to get the first set of pills. And i swear i can no longer take the morning sickness and the vomiting. I puke bile everyday with any sort of food or liquid that i ingest. I can not imagine going on with this for much longer, none the less let myself give birth to a baby of a man that certainly DOES NOT love me/ and is certainly not worth any of my suffering.

 

I told myself that the day i decide to get pregnant and settle down for sure will be the day i get treated like a goddess. Never will i ever stay with a guy that treats me like an animal. EVER. And ladies please. If you know the man isn't right for you, or is not treating you right. Please run. And run far. I would never want this happening to my future child.

 

I am afraid for my safety and am currently in the process of getting a restraining order over him. Cause lord knows how crazy this man can be. Insane i tell you. And if anything happens to me i want them all to know who it is.

 

I hope i stay safe and this abortion is successful. And i hope i can move on from all the ways i lost myself, trying to accommodate this person and his insecurities. I tried searching up a story like mine but i just decided to write my own. Hopefully someone relates…"  —Anonymous

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