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I was 6 weeks pregnant when I found out...

December 20, 2015

"I was 6 weeks pregnant when I found out. I was in a not so positive relationship. Even so, I was ecstatic. Im 31 with 2 boys, ages 10 and 13. I always wanted third child. I even had a first OB appointment, seeing the ultrasound at 7 weeks and hearing the heartbeat. Then reality set in, like what in the world am I doing? The pregnancy was too stressful for either one of us to cope with and our relationship ended. It ended when I was 9 weeks. 

 

I began running things through my mind, finances, lifestyle changes, and just everything. Im considered middle class, however, the financial burden to me and my current children, would've been detrimental. After two weeks of tears, guilt, anguish, and fear, I made the decision to have an abortion. 

 

The morning of the abortion, I went to the office and had the ultrasound. The tech left the pics hanging from the printer. I lost it. I melted down to my knees in the room. They called my best friend in there with me to help me. We talked and talked. I finally moved on with the next step of checking my iron and blood type. I was 13 weeks on this day. I had to have the surgical abortion. I chose to have the twilight sedation. After a few minutes and slight cramping, I was in the recliner, waiting to be released. 

 

Sitting there, knowing that I had just had an abortion, was such a huge relief. I didn't expect to feel relieved, I expected to be extremely guilty and upset, because thats the stigma that we are expected to believe. I am 1 week out, and haven't ever felt more empowered in my life. I made the ultimate decision for MY body, to control MY life, to do what was best for ME. I thought I was always pro-life, until faced with this decision. I am telling my story because it is ok to take back that control. We are in control of our lives and our bodies. I strongly feel that us women have a third sense that allows us to be strong and take control when necessary, no matter how hard the decision is. Don't be ashamed. Hugs to those of you looking for support."  —Bridget

 

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