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First things first. You are not a terrible person...

November 3, 2015

"First things first. You are not a terrible person, if abortion was the route you decided to take. That is something I really struggled with at first, and I still do to this day. When I found out that I was pregnant, I didn't know what to think. 

 

My boyfriend was waiting for me outside the bathroom. I didn't know if I should hide my pregnancy, or if I should tell him the truth. We have been together for a very long time and live together. My tears from the news obviously gave everything away. He hugged me and was very supportive. 

 

We talked about our options. We were definitely not financially stable to raise a child of our own, and we could not bear the thought of giving our child to a stranger. We ultimately decided we would go into the clinic and see how far along I was and then we would decide from there. 

 

We made an appointment at Planned Parenthood. They told us I was about only 6 weeks along. We decided to have an abortion. We were counseled through our decision and I had to take some lab tests. The appointment was scheduled for the next week. 

 

I honestly felt like a terrible person. I was only 19 and I felt that I should be taking responsibility for my actions, but at the same time I felt like I could not give the child the life they would deserve and I wouldn't put myself or them through that. I still have not told my family and my boyfriend has not told his. 

 

When we went to go in to have it done, I was very emotional. There were some protesters outside of the planned parenthood clinic and it honestly just made everything worse. Even though my boyfriend was very supportive, I felt alone. He didn't know what I was going through physically and emotionally. 

 

I did my abortion through the pills, so I could be at home and comfortable. The process was very painful and emotional. I don't know whether to say I felt relieved or regretful. After it had passed that's when everything felt real. My boyfriend was with me the entire time. 

 

It took a while to heal from it, I bled for about 4 weeks and my period after was very painful and heavier than usual. My advice to others going through the situation is talk to someone about it. I regret not talking to my mom about it. I don't think I will ever tell her. And part of me wishes I did. My boyfriend is there to talk to, but he can't fully understand. 

 

Don't feel like a terrible person. Do not think any less of yourself. You are worthy, just as worthy as anybody else. Stay strong and stay healthy."  —Anonymous

 

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