I never had regular periods, so being a little late was no big deal...
June 11, 2014
"I never had regular periods, so being a little late was no big deal for me. However, this time my breasts were tender. Not really thinking about it, I took a pregnancy test. It was more with the intention of crossing that off my lists of concerns so you can imagine my shock when it came back positive. I quickly ran to the store and proceeded to stock up on variants of "the" test. After practically breaking down my front door with my pants already at my feet, I peed on a hundred sticks that all told me the same, terrifying news. I was pregnant.
I proceeded to panic and call my boyfriend who sounded equally shocked since we always practiced safe sex. We were the 1%. We always discussed that if an unplanned pregnancy were to happen we would probably terminate it. So after discussing the predicament, we decided that we were not ready and that abortion was right for us. I immediately started researching my options. Most of what came up were graphic stories about the medical abortion. But the idea of going through it in the privacy of your own home intrigued me and I decided that that would be the route I take. However, when I called to make an appointment with the clinic, I learned more about the surgical abortion and decided to go that direction.
Upon arriving there were no protestors and there were two women standing guard in the parking lot so we could enter safely. There were many more people in the waiting room than I had thought there would be. We ended up waiting about an hour after my appointment time before I was seen. First, I had blood drawn to check my iron counts, then peed in a cup and then was taken into a small office to discuss my options. Everyone was super friendly and informative. I was able to ask my questions then and sign a bunch of paperwork stating that this was of my free will. I decided be sedated during the procedure and to receive an IUD birth control.
After that, I stripped down into a gown and sat in another waiting room with 5 other women. We didn't talk much. One by one we were called away for an ultrasound. The ultrasound wasn't bad and they didn't force me to see the image. She told me that I was about 5 weeks pregnant and because I was so early there would be a chance that I would have to come back for a blood test to make sure my hormone levels are dropping. I wasn't too happy about that, but I understood. I went back into the dreary waiting room with the other gowned women until my name was called again. This time we were walking to surgery.
Once we walked through those doors the vibe totally changed. I felt like I was in a hospital and started to get nervous. I laid on my back and put my feet in the stirrups, the nurse hooked me up to an IV and then the doctor and anesthesiologist came in. They introduced themselves, told me I was in good hands and then I quickly drifted off. The next thing I know, I open my eyes in the next room and the nurse is greeting me. I felt great! Slightly groggy but not bad at all. They helped me up, gave me a pad because its normal to bleed a bit, and offered me water/juice and crackers. I sat there for about 5-10 minutes and felt good enough to go get dress and head on home. I met with the nurse one more time who gave me antibiotics to take that night and she told me I would have to come back for a blood test since there was very little embryonic tissue removed. They just wanted to make sure they removed everything. I was frustrated a bit by this but was given a doctor’s note for work and scheduled the appointment.
I thought ahead and left heating pads in the car for the ride home. For the record you must have a ride home if you decide to be put under. Oh and one more thing, we were already pulling out of the parking lot when an old woman protester approached the car and started yelling about abortions. Thankfully, our windows were rolled up. We simply flipped her the bird and kept driving. Anyway, I did experience some cramping and the heating pads helped immensely!
Upon arriving home, I experienced a flood of emotions. It is a lot to take in so don't feel bad if you know this is the right thing to do but it still saddens you. It's completely normal to have these conflicting emotions. It's hard not to think about your life with a child. But I turned that thinking into the great things I have yet to accomplish and the many lives I may impact upon my journey. Doing this allowed me and my partner to fully dive into our careers and to travel the world. It is your life first and foremost. Don't settle. These things happen to thousands of women everyday all over the world. Don't feel like you are alone or that you are a terrible person. You are human and you are important. Therefore, you make mistakes but you are worth fixing them.
In summary my advice is this:
Get the surgical abortion and anesthesia. Plan a birth control method for immediately after. Leave heating pads everywhere. Heating pads are awesome and are your friend during this. Lots of ibuprofen and ginger ale. Love and forgive yourself.
Best of luck to all you beautiful women out there. Know that I feel for you and that you can come out of this a stronger person." —anonymous