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I got pregnant when I was 12...

July 21, 2012

"I got pregnant when I was 12, by the boy next door. He was 4 and-a-half years older than me. He was my boyfriend and we started having sex when I was 11. He and I tried to make the arrangements for my abortion ourselves, and he also took me to my first gynecological exam, which was the initial pregnancy testing. But I remember being forced into telling my mother. I can't remember for certain why, maybe because I needed her permission.

 

She and I had an almost estranged relationship even though we lived in the same house, and she, myself, and my brother had no communication or even eye contact. I felt motherless. But then I was forced to  tell her and all hell broke out. My life was miserable enough without the screaming, yelling, name-calling, slamming, and the worst was my brother punching me in the face and her allowing him, as if I deserved that punishment.

 

I hated her and the last person I wanted by my side was her. Not all mothers are good mothers. She made me do everything all over again: another gyno exam, pregnancy test, all over again that I just had  done a week earlier.

 

On a very snowy winter day we made our way down to Pittsburgh. It was an ordeal, but I never had any doubts about terminating my pregnancy. In fact, I was already thinking that I didn't want kids, ever. Why  would I when life was so miserable? Why would I bring a baby into this kind of world? I've never regretted my decision to this day, 35 years later. I never had kids, still don't want them, and I applaud women who realize they shouldn't have kids, that know they aren't cut out to be mothers. I think it is very responsible to terminate your pregnancy under these circumstances. But my story  doesn't stop there.

Three times during my life, after my abortion at the age of 12, I've gotten pregnant  while on the pill. I was never good at remembering and taking them at the right time. So I had 3 more abortions. Then I got a Norplant which lasts 5 years, so all was well. Guess what happened after 5 years? I went back on the pill (due to side effects from Norplant--I didn't want to do that again, besides I thought I was now mature enough). Yes, I got pregnant again. I was engaged at the time but still knew I didn't want kids. As much as the thought of children is delightful, I knew I could never be a good, responsible mother. It's been at least 15 years now with no pregnancy scares, but if it were to happen, I would do the same thing again, and be proud of myself for doing what I think is right  for me or any potential child.

One more thing: my story, at least in its parts, is very, very common."  —Lisa D

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