"So, 2019. Had the medical abortion 2 days ago. And I’ve never felt better. I’m in denial. I didn’t want it. I was heartbroken to find out I was and even more devastated at my own reaction of dropping to the floor in tears. I wasn’t keeping it. With or without telling him I was going to make a swift end to this. I want children but not until my vision of a house with a beautiful little room all ready to go and money in the bank was a possibility. It was an instant decision. Certain and pure. I told my doctor and she tried to talk me out if it. Rudely, whilst I sat there broken and asking for help. She said “just to let you know most people end up mentally ill” like I was choosing a disease or making a stupid choice. I felt so judged and so ashamed. There was a day where he found my test and confronted me, and if he had told me he 1000% wanted to and was ready I would have changed my mind. I would have been miserable, but for him. But he said whatever you feel you need to do, I’ll be here. I broke down even more, to be so accepted, to feel so loved and supported. I booked an appointment. Directly with Marie stopes. I went.
The woman I met was so friendly, so full of life, I felt so supported and so at ease. I’ll never be able to thank her. I signed a couple of forms and took some tablets. And it was over. Easy. She offered me the injection to avoid getting pregnant again immediately which I HIGHLY RECOMMEND because the rates are so ridiculously high. I got over my phobia and took the shot. I went home and waited for pain. It didn’t come. 5 hours later and I’d done a wash load and a few chores and it hit me. It was painful. But 2 feminax and 2 paracetamol and it was only like a bad period. Stronger than most but nothing I would worry about or that basic drugs couldn’t handle. FOR SERIOUS, I WAS SO SCARED AND SO WORRIED. You can do it. Make your choice. Be you and know. I have the pain threshold of a 2 year old and I’m 29. Your reasons are your own. 2 days later and I’m fully back to normal life. Still on my period but just normal. I feel happy, a weight off my shoulders and full of life and I know I was over 9 weeks. But to me it wasn’t real, just a medical procedure and I want you to know you don’t need to be scared." - E