In 2018 I was in a relationship with a man who was 13 years older than me...

content warning: domestic abuse, sexual abuse


"In 2018 I was in a relationship with a man who was 13 years older than me. The relationship slipped from toxic, to mentally abusive to physically and sexually abusive. I'm a tough girl who never thought I would allow myself to be treated like that. But abusers are master manipulators who make you question everything you know. I also consoled in the wrong person, a "friend" who instead of supporting me, victim-blamed me. Because of the abuse, I was drinking heavily at the time. When I got pregnant I didn't even know until almost two months in. I had even gotten my period the first month, plus I assumed my cycle was thrown off a bit from unhealthy behaviors. When I told my abuser of the pregnancy, he was excited and not really surprised (I believe he did it on purpose to trap me). But when I told him I wasn't going to keep it, the abuse got worse.


Thankfully I live in Florida, where abortions are still legal for up to two and a half months. I was able to schedule the procedure just two weeks before it was too late. He even promised to take me there, and when I found he had disappeared the morning of the appointment, I had to take an Uber and desperately call the few friends I trusted to pick me up after. After the procedure, I was severely depressed. I have struggled with depression since I was 14, both of my parents and sister also struggle with the disease. I would only leave my house to go to work. I completely isolated myself and even began self-harming and drinking heavier. It took me six months to dig my way out of that hole, and two years to start telling my story. Now, I am ready to let other girls know that they don't have to feel trapped or without options. That the situations they find themselves in do not have to reflect the rest of their lives. That they have the right to choose how their future looks. Not only did I get my abortion because I wanted to protect myself, but I came from a broken home which left me with a great deal of trauma. I NEVER want my children to go through what I went through. If I had a child with my abuser, my child's life would have been broken from the start. That's not fair to them or me. You're not selfish for choosing abortion, you are strong for looking out for your future." - Sarah


#abusiverelationship #overwhelmed

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