I wanted to share my story...

"I wanted to share my story to hopefully give some comfort to those who come to this site, like myself, terrified and seeking reassurance. I've been with my partner for the better part of a decade and because I'm unable to use OCPs (due to migraine with aura) and reluctance to get an IUD (due to personal choice, fear of complications mainly) we have been using barrier methods for years. As a woman it can be very frustrating when there seems to be so few options out there... and the pressure to use contraception effectively lies mainly with us. In any case, needless to say... about 3 weeks ago, I came to the very terrifying realization that our contraceptive methods had failed, and I was pregnant. Again, due to my own personal choice, I do not have any desire to have children. I have considered tubal ligation, and may still consider it after this experience.

I'm 29, but am very sure of my decisions. So.. when I took that home pregnancy test, and it said "pregnant" I instantly had a panic attack. I'm a student, in my final year of medical school, living in a different country.. away from home, my family, my partner and I was alone in my apartment - which I had to move out of the next day. I was also about 20 minutes out from helping the moving company move some my things.. and here I was, having a panic attack, crying, hyperventilating, sitting on the floor like "THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING". Absolute terror filled my entire being. So... sparing all the other little details, I quickly called a clinic and scheduled a termination. At this time I was only about 4 weeks pregnant, and knew that I needed to be at least 5.5-6 weeks along in order for them to be able to visualize my pregnancy on the ultrasound. The thought of having to continue on with the pregnancy for another 2 weeks gave me so much anxiety, I still couldn't believe this was happening to me.

I made the decision to only tell my partner, my closest friends, and a couple of people that I trusted who were living in the same place that I was at the time, and I'm so grateful to them for being there for me. I opted for local anesthesia during a surgical termination. I was SO nervous. But I was sure of my decision to terminate. The staff at the clinic were so kind and informative. It was a very peaceful environment, devoid of judgment. The Ob/Gyn who performed the procedure was compassionate and comforting, she talked me through the whole procedure and was so gentle. The OR nurse held my hand and spoke to me the entire time. The procedure itself was uncomfortable, similar cramping to regular menstrual cramps. Nothing unbearable, mostly uncomfortable "tugging" sensations. I would rate it a 5/10 pain; I was expecting 10/10 or worse. Post-op, I had some very mild cramping and mild bleeding for a day and after that I was able to go back to my normal routine. I've not had any complications. Reading all of these stories here was such a comfort to me prior to the procedure and made me feel like I wasn't alone - I hope my experience can do the same for someone else. You're never alone in this." - Anonymous


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