"I have had three abortions. The first abortion felt like a weight off of my shoulders. I wouldn’t know who the father was, I wasn’t far along, and I didn’t want to be a mom at the time. I was 19, not in college, and living with my parents. I didn’t want a child at the time where I wouldn’t even know who the father was. My second abortion I was married. We found out I was pregnant on Christmas break visiting both of our families. Our marriage was rocky but I knew I wanted to be a mom, I didn’t know what that would look like or anything. I remember talking to his mom in the morning, holding back vomit. His mom left for work, I threw up, came out and said “we need to buy a test.” The test came out positive, I went in to hug him, he pushed me away and told me sometimes he wished he never married me. I sat in Walmart with a positive test in hand hearing him say all the negatives while I’m crying. It felt like hours.
We came back to our home and I found out my best friend was pregnant. We would have been a day apart, she was there for me while my husband gave me ultimatums, “it’s either the baby, or a happy marriage,” and things along those lines. A year later I came up pregnant again. He told me that if I was pregnant a third time we would have the baby. Our marriage was doing really well. We were accomplishing our goals both personal and together. I was ecstatic. Until he came home from work and said he never wants to have kids. It broke my heart. I didn’t want to burden him with a child he didn’t want. I knew he would want to be in the child’s life. I never wanted my kid to feel like a burden to him or I took a part of his life away. The third abortion broke me. Each child holds a special place in my heart, I wish abortions were more talked about because not everyone wants an abortion. Some people are pressured. Or feel like there’s no other way. The second abortion was pressured, the third was to get out of an unstable marriage. Each abortion is a part of my story." - Anonymous