I had an abortion 2 days ago...

"I had my abortion 2 days ago and it was a nightmare. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I was determined to end the pregnancy. Not because I don't want kids, but because right now at this stage of my life a child wouldn't fit in the picture. I remember staring at the plus sign on the stick. I was overwhelmed with emotions and so was my husband but he was thrilled and as soon as he saw my expression he got confused. 'Aren't you happy'? He asked. 'Yeah, I am just surprised that's all..' I wasn't excited at all.

From that day I kept thinking of ways to end the pregnancy without making it look like an abortion. Living in a country where abortion is illegal and nearly impossible made me search for answers online for alternative ways. Desperately, I kept browsing at night and found ways such as ibuprofen, excessive vitamin C, and other possible ways. I tried to forget about the baby and I was skipping my prenatal care supplements on purpose. I didn't want to feel attached to the baby. I was nearly 8 weeks when I realized that if I wouldn't end it soon it wouldn't happen at all and I would Be forced to carry this baby full term. Online I came across WomenOnWeb and I sent them an email right away. At 10 weeks, I finally got the pills and instructions. Nobody knew about this - it was like a secret.

First day I took 1 pill that made me vomit a lot. The next day I toke another dose or 4 pills. The effects were instant. I was bleeding right away and again I was vomiting. Within 30 minutes I got contractions. Worst pain ever. Rushed to the hospital by ambulance. At the ER we found out that the baby was still alive. How did that happen?? I expected to go home later on the day but everything went downhill very quick. Contractions got worse, I lost the fetus during my bathroom trip as I felt pressure and the need to push. After the fetus came out the pain got less. Around 10 minutes later again sharp pains. I couldn't stand or walk and I could feel how something would come out of me again. Went to the toilet and saw a big tissue, probably placenta, on my pad. After that lots of bleeding and clots. A D&C surgery was required since there was still tissue left behind in the uterus. I can't forget the pain ever. I wish I will never have to go through this again. And I wish my next pregnancy would be in a much better situation where I can welcome a healthy baby." - Anonymous

#international #overwhelmed #medicationabortion

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