I am 36 years old, and I have two children...

Content Warning: Drug use


"I am 36 years old, and I have two children. I have a 16-year-old daughter and a 9-year-old son. My children have two different dads who I am no longer with, and I have been seeing someone new for 2 years.

When I found I was pregnant I was scared at first then excited. This pregnancy would make a total of 6 pregnancies in my lifetime. I had 2 births, 1 abortion years ago, a miscarriage, and an ectopic. The ectopic was 3 years ago and left me with one tube on my right side. I could not even believe that I was blessed yet again with another pregnancy. That joy and happiness came and went as soon as I informed the father of the baby I was pregnant.

I had a very long history with the father of this child. Our past went back 10+ years so I never thought he would react to the news as he did. To him, this baby needed to go, it was not the time, and he basically gave every excuse of why I should not have it. No compassion, no care, and no sensitivity. It was then I knew what I had to do, it was like I looked into a mirror of the future. The best thing to do was to end this pregnancy and save this child’s future, current children’s future, and mine.

I decided to have a Medical abortion which consists of taking pills in order to end the pregnancy. I made an appointment with Planned Parenthood since my gyn could not administer these pills. On the day of the appointment, I went to work then headed up to the office that afternoon.

I walked in the office showed my ID and insurance card and was told to have a seat. As I waited to be called, I sat thinking while my friend was talking, but I did not really hear her. All I thought about was the pros and cons of my situation, and still knew it was the right thing to do.

I was then called to do paperwork, and then I was given a cup to provide urine to make sure I was still pregnant. About 10 minutes went by, and I was called to the back where they took blood and had a sonogram done. I was pushing on about 6 weeks pregnant, and I kept a picture of my little one.

After the sonogram, it was again explained about what would happen, and the instructions on what to do when I get home. She left the room for about 5 mins and returned with the pill Mifeprex (which stops the growth hormones that help your baby grow), and a cup of water. I stared at the pill, thought about it one more time then sadly swallowed the pill. I then left the office, with a prescription of Ibuprofen 800 for pain, Ondansetron for nausea, and 4 tablets of Misoprostol for day 2 of the abortion. As soon as I was out of the office I cried like a baby. I was overcome with so much grief.

The main complaint I can say about the first medication Mifeprex was the drowsiness. I was completely out of it, and was glad I went straight home after taking it. I spent most of that evening sleeping, and when I was not sleeping I was very emotional, weak, and sad.

The next day was nerve-wracking. I could already feel some of my symptoms of the pregnancy going away, such as my sore boobs. As the time passed during the day I was more afraid of how my body would respond to the Misopristone which would push the pregnancy out of my body. I was happy that I kept the Oxi that I had from getting my tooth pulled earlier this year. I was terrified that Ibuprofen would not be strong enough, because I do not handle pain well.

About an hour or so before taking the last pills, I began to prepare for things that might happen. I got out the bucket in case I threw up, put something on my bed for bleeding, and poured a big cup of water. I took a shower, put on a pad, and put on Gospel music to prepare myself mentally for what I was about to.

As I was getting dressed I already started to bleed before I even took the Misoprostol. I cried when I saw the blood and knew that the first medicine worked and it was time to take the required second meds.

I took one Oxi, one Ondansetron, and waited about 20 mins for them to enter my bloodstream. My friend then started the timer and I placed 2 tablets of the Misoprostol on each side of my cheeks for 30 mins. It felt like the longest 30mins of my life. I held my mouth closed, my teeth clenched, and listen to the Gospel music that soothed me.

Halfway through the 30 minutes the pills began to break down and gave kind of a burning sensation in my mouth. I also began to feel slight cramping sensations. They were not that horrible maybe like a 3/10. When the 30 mins were up nothing seemed to happen so I decided to lay down. That's when I felt like a very strong contraction which made me jump up. Blood started running down my leg, and I made my way to the bathroom. On the toilet, I sat down and felt the first clot come out. Made me cry so hard. I continued to feel these on and off contractions for about 3 hours or so. I had babies before and what I can say is the whole process felt like labor. In total I passed about 6 or 7 clots, then the cramps slowed down as well as the bleeding. The worst was definitely in the first hour. After the 3 hours, I passed out for about 4 hours. I woke up in less pain, with small random contractions. The whole abortion was comfortable because I was surrounded with support, and love from family and friends.

For me, this abortion hurt me more mentally than physically. I thank GOD that I made it through, and this experience made me see life differently. I will think twice on every choice I make. I did not see myself going through this, and will make sure I never put myself in a painful situation like this again. "


- Anonymous

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