If you found yourself here...

“If you found yourself here, you’re probably doing the exact same thing I found myself doing a few nights ago. I was terrified, nervous, and reading others’ experiences that added to my nerves. Remember that every body is different and reacts in different ways. Here is my experience with a medication abortion: my boyfriend and I are extremely happy and so in love. In April 2019, we found out we were pregnant; what a whirlwind of emotions this news brought into our lives. We knew we wanted to get married and start a little family of our own, but this, this happened too soon, and we knew we were not ready. With a lot of open and honest conversation, tears and laughter, we found ourselves at our final decision, to terminate the pregnancy. It was a difficult decision to make and accept, but I knew this would be what is best for me and my life.

May 2, 2019, I sat at the Feminist Women’s Health Center anxiously waiting in the lobby. After reading numerous articles about the medications, researching others experience, I found myself full of questions and horrified at the possible risk. The women at the center were so amazing. I cannot thank them enough for their kindness, understanding and comfort. I took 1 pill in the office in front of the doctor (who was incredible) as he talked me through the process and gave me instructions of what I needed to do at home. This first pill is what stops the hormone, progesterone, from being produced in the body. Ultimately, it stops helping the baby grow and detaches the baby from the uterine wall. The only side effect I experienced from the first pill was some mild cramping that happened about 2 hours after taking it. I stayed home that night, ate something, watched a movie, and went to bed early.

The next morning, I went to work as usual, growing more and more anxious about what was to come. That day at work, I didn’t feel great but I also didn’t feel awful. The nausea came and went, but it had also been lingering for the past few weeks so it wasn’t really anything new. The night came and I had everything laid out and ready for the ‘just in case shit hits the fan’ scenario. My boyfriend stayed with me through the whole process, his support changed everything. At 10pm, I inserted 4 pills vaginally and laid down flat for 30 minutes. Just like clock-worth, once 30 minutes passed, mild cramping started. It was completely manageable, but let’s be real, 800 mg ibuprofen, a heating pad and my boyfriend rubbing my back, made all of this manageable. About an hour after inserting the pills, I had this overwhelming urge to pee. I carefully made my way to the bathroom and noticed the bleeding had started. I was not prepared for how much blood was going to be leaving my body, I mean, whoa.

The second time I went to the bathroom, I passed a very small blood clot and the cramping started to intensify. The pain came in waves and brought me to tears; finding a comfortable position was difficult. I felt a little lightheaded but lemon lime Gatorade was there for the rescue! At 1:30 am, I felt a lot of pressure and very nauseous, I went to the bathroom not really sure what end was going to empty itself. I sat on the toilet and pushed, and just like that, very quickly, I heard a “plop” in the water and realized I passed the pregnancy. It felt like a water balloon fell out of me. The cramping continued for the next hour or so, but it wasn’t terrible. Physically, the medication abortion made me feel tired and weak. Emotionally, once the pregnancy passed, I felt empty. I couldn’t have gone through any of this without my boyfriend by my side, he did everything possible to help me stay comfortable and keep my mind busy.

This is a hard decision to make, but ultimately, it is your decision! I do not feel any shame for the choice I made and I do not feel any regret. I made the right choice for me and the right choice for that baby. If you are in the process of a medication abortion, YOU ARE GOING TO BE FINE! Every person’s body will react differently to medications. Take the ibuprofen as prescribed, have plenty of water available and some Gatorade (your body is going to want some sugar), keep a heating pad close by, pick all your favorite movies to watch and have support with you. I’m writing this 24 hours post abortion, watching Ant-man and the Wasp, eating mac and cheese, with no cramping, no pain and no regret. My future looks bright, just like your future does as well. I hope this helps to ease some of the worried minds out there. Stay strong, be prepared and relax. You got this.” - Anonymous

#medicationabortion #prochoice #confidence

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