So, I'm 24 years old...


“So, I’m 24 years old and have been in a relationship for 5 years with someone who I absolutely love and want to marry. Now do I deserve him? No. Especially because I cheated and the 'baby' was not his. We live on opposite ends of the world due to him being in the military. To continue my crappy story, I didn’t tell the real father of the baby because of his culture’s idea of abortion. So instead, I created a lie about being 10 weeks pregnant to match the last time my actual boyfriend and I slept together. The truth: I was only 6 weeks. I knew my boyfriend didn’t want kids and I knew he was on my side about abortion. I also didn’t tell my family. I disappointed them a lot throughout my life, and this would be the last straw.

I took off work and went in to Planned Parenthood for my first visit... alone. I read a ton of horror stories online so I when the nurse called my name, I began to panic. The doctor was very nice, sort of funny too which calmed my nerves. During the sonogram, he told me I was 6 weeks, let me hear the heartbeat and asked if I wanted a picture. I said: 'thanks for the information. I don’t care about the heartbeat, and why the heck would I want a photo?!?!' I know their job is to make sure I’m making the right decision, but I wanted nothing to do with a baby and wanted nothing more than to pay the $150 and leave! I have a great job so money wasn’t an issue, making this abortion an even easier option. My boyfriend wanted to help pay, but I have a tiny conscience so I couldn’t let him.

By myself again, I came back the next day to take the 1st pill in the office with doctor 6 inches from my face making sure I swallowed. He gave me about 10 200mg of ibuprofen and the 2nd set of pills. He also gave me a prescription for codeine and nausea medicine. I got a bunch a 'how- to' and 'what to expect' paperwork. I took photos and threw everything away. I didn’t want any evidence of my abortion. I also called a friend to stay at her house the next day because I couldn’t have the 'dramatic abortion process' in my own house. My mom is nosy and I needed support in case of an emergency.

Day 2 came. At 1:00 exactly, I took 800mg of ibuprofen and 1 nausea pill. 30 minutes later, I put the pills in my cheeks and waited 30 more minutes before I swallowed. First of all, I’ve tasted nastier medicine. But I did feel cramps before I swallowed. I had a whole bag packed for my friend’s house. Extra underwear, in case I bled everywhere. Extra clothes and a thermometer, I read online I would have the sweats and the chills and fever. I read that I would be crying and screaming on the bathroom floor. I was expecting the entire dramatic episode and that I needed to be locked in a room for hours basically dying... None of that happened. Yes, the cramps were bad, which is why I took 2 codeine, and yes I went through 5 maxi pads. But I also went to dinner and the movies with my friend and ended up going back to my house because nothing I read came true. Call me disappointed. I really only had symptoms of a bad cramping period.

It’s the next morning while I’m typing this and I’m bleeding and cramping but my abortion was very easy. I can’t even tell you when the pregnancy came out. I just wish there were more stories like mine out there. Stories of the possibility of nothing happening. The horror causes a lot of stress and panic and I feel pretty silly for being so scared. But also, in way, I’m glad I read them. I pray for all of the brave women telling their stories.” - Anonymous

#medicationabortion #stigma #scared

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