So, I'm 24 years old...


“So, I’m 24 years old and have been in a relationship for 5 years with someone who I absolutely love and want to marry. Now do I deserve him? No. Especially because I cheated and the 'baby' was not his. We live on opposite ends of the world due to him being in the military. To continue my crappy story, I didn’t tell the real father of the baby because of his culture’s idea of abortion. So instead, I created a lie about being 10 weeks pregnant to match the last time my actual boyfriend and I slept together. The truth: I was only 6 weeks. I knew my boyfriend didn’t want kids and I knew he was on my side about abortion. I also didn’t tell my family. I disappointed them a lot throughout my life, and this would be the last straw.

I took off work and went in to Planned Parenthood for my first visit... alone. I read a ton of horror stories online so I when the nurse called my name, I began to panic. The doctor was very nice, sort of funny too which calmed my nerves. During the sonogram, he told me I was 6 weeks, let me hear the heartbeat and asked if I wanted a picture. I said: 'thanks for the information. I don’t care about the heartbeat, and why the heck would I want a photo?!?!' I know their job is to make sure I’m making the right decision, but I wanted nothing to do with a baby and wanted nothing more than to pay the $150 and leave! I have a great job so money wasn’t an issue, making this abortion an even easier option. My boyfriend wanted to help pay, but I have a tiny conscience so I couldn’t let him.

By myself again, I came back the next day to take the 1st pill in the office with doctor 6 inches from my face making sure I swallowed. He gave me about 10 200mg of ibuprofen and the 2nd set of pills. He also gave me a prescription for codeine and nausea medicine. I got a bunch a 'how- to' and 'what to expect' paperwork. I took photos and threw everything away. I didn’t want any evidence of my abortion. I also called a friend to stay at her house the next day because I couldn’t have the 'dramatic abortion process' in my own house. My mom is nosy and I needed support in case of an emergency.

Day 2 came. At 1:00 exactly, I took 800mg of ibuprofen and 1 nausea pill. 30 minutes later, I put the pills in my cheeks and waited 30 more minutes before I swallowed. First of all, I’ve tasted nastier medicine. But I did feel cramps before I swallowed. I had a whole bag packed for my friend’s house. Extra underwear, in case I bled everywhere. Extra clothes and a thermometer, I read online I would have the sweats and the chills and fever. I read that I would be crying and screaming on the bathroom floor. I was expecting the entire dramatic episode and that I needed to be locked in a room for hours basically dying... None of that happened. Yes, the cramps were bad, which is why I took 2 codeine, and yes I went through 5 maxi pads. But I also went to dinner and the movies with my friend and ended up going back to my house because nothing I read came true. Call me disappointed. I really only had symptoms of a bad cramping period.

It’s the next morning while I’m typing this and I’m bleeding and cramping but my abortion was very easy. I can’t even tell you when the pregnancy came out. I just wish there were more stories like mine out there. Stories of the possibility of nothing happening. The horror causes a lot of stress and panic and I feel pretty silly for being so scared. But also, in way, I’m glad I read them. I pray for all of the brave women telling their stories.” - Anonymous

#medicationabortion #stigma #scared

Recent Posts

See All

When I had my abortion I was only 18...

"When I had my abortion I was only 18. I originally didn’t want to have it, but after I was told by the dad that he didn’t want anything to do with me or the baby I knew it would be a bad idea to have

I got an NHS medical abortion in May 2019...

“I got an NHS medical abortion in May 2019. I am 22 years old and in a very happy and loving 5-year relationship. We have always spoken about having children and are very excited about one day having

There is still some secret shame...

"There is still some secret shame that lingers inside, coming from a religious home, coming from a Bangladeshi home. I'm 23 now. I had grown up thinking being a mother was all that a woman could be. T

A PROJECT OF
Preterm logo

© Preterm 2018 | 12000 Shaker Boulevard, Cleveland, OH 44120 | info@preterm.org