“So today I had an abortion at 19 weeks. I’m saddened but at the same time I feel relief. I haven’t told anyone but the staff at the clinic about my abortion due to circumstances I will explain.
I’m 25 going to be 26 in a few days. I have had 3 pregnancies; first one was a miscarriage, second, I have a beautiful daughter, third is this one, I had an abortion. We shall start in May of 2018, I found out my husband was cheating on me. At the time, our 9-month-old daughter was getting too much of my attention. I, dumbfounded, stayed to attempt to make it work with my husband for our family we had made. Come to August of 2018, our daughter turned 1. I found out soon after he was still cheating, deciding to split up because my daughter doesn’t deserve it and neither do I.
We occasionally still had sex through the end of August, September and beginning of October until I found out the girl he was cheating on me with was pregnant with his kid. We filed for divorce. I had my period regularly in October like I usually have at the beginning of the month. November it’s spotting but my period hadn’t been the same after having my daughter. One month it’d be heavy the next like it barely exists, so December comes around I didn’t mind my period thinking nothing of it at the time because Christmas and trying to get everything together for child support and a divorce and still making Christmas happen.
I took a pregnancy test the day after Christmas, the second line popped up so quick when I peed on the stick I was in disbelief, this can’t happen right now. I was in denial for at least a week. So, I called my regular obgyn to get in and see what options I had through her. She said I was 15 weeks, and this was January 25th and she stops doing abortions at 10 weeks when the abortion pill stops working. So, she gave me a bunch of resources to call. I called planned Parenthood. Their next available appointment wasn’t until February 28th 3 weeks almost 4 weeks to be seen and I was cutting it very close! So, Thursday the 28th I go in to have my first appointment with Planned Parenthood. They take your blood, they take an ultrasound, go over possible options with you and such. They scheduled me for 2 appointments, 24-hour cervix Dilators on Monday March 4th and the abortion today March 5th.
I didn’t have a ride, nor had I even talked to anyone about having an abortion, not even the father knew, so I did their ‘local anesthetic’ which is 800 milligrams of ibuprofen and the lidocaine for your cervix. (I guess you could say I’m a pretty tough cookie) it hurt like hell, but I remained calm. Because I knew the financial crisis I am in, the living situation, and current divorce status I am going through is not a very good one to even plan on being pregnant in. And it keeps breaking my heart when I look at my daughter because I wish like hell this didn’t happen this way that she would be having a little baby brother or sister. But I also feel relief knowing that the living child I do have will be provided for to the best of my single mommy status I can do at this point! I look at it now as if I have an angel watching over my daughter and I.” –Anonymous