I just had a surgical abortion...

“Well, I’m 27 and I just had a surgical abortion at 14 weeks and 3 days. I’ll start at the beginning.

My partner and I were never preventing pregnancy. We were drinking a lot and mostly having drunk sex so we didn’t really care. I’m really surprised it took me two years to get pregnant. In the summer I started having really abnormally heavy and almost never-ending periods that the doctors couldn’t figure out. When I stopped having periods, I figured it was because of whatever was wrong with me. My boyfriend was withdrawing at this time and after so long of not getting pregnant and then the terrible bleeding, I didn’t think I could. I took a test after the first missed period, but it was negative like I figured.

I started having symptoms that were obvious but I ignored. Very sore breasts first. Then I started getting lower back and hip pain. Next came the nausea and I even threw up twice. Finally, what clicked was that when I pressed on my uterus, it felt hard and my stomach felt sore when I would stretch. So I took a test and saw that it was positive. I immediately started crying. My life has been really messed up lately so the thought of having a kid was really really scary. I don’t know where I’m going to live once my lease is up, I am continuously getting more and more in debt, my boyfriend and I are sharing a car, he is on parole, etc. I knew what I had to do was get an abortion, but I thought for sure it was too late.

I went to Planned Parenthood and they confirmed that I was pregnant. I then scheduled my appointment for an abortion. The day I went, I was nervous. Mostly that I was going to have a lot of pain. I was happy because I got approved for Medicare so they covered the whole cost. There were only two old people outside that were handing out pamphlets on anti-abortion.

First, they did a sonogram which you don’t have to look at. They can tell you if it’s more than one pregnancy but that’s about all they will say. Then they put an IV in my arm and gave me some pills to dilate my cervix. Everyone reacts to this differently. I didn’t throw up, but I was nausous. I wasn’t cramping or bleeding which worried me that the pill wasn’t working because if it doesn’t work, you have to go home with dilators inside you and come back the next day. After 3 hours of waiting for the pills to take effect, they put me in a room for about a half an hour. Lots of waiting. Finally, the doctor came in with two other ladies to start the procedure. They put the anti-anxiety and the pain meds in the IV and immediately felt pretty good. Then they give you a shot to numb your cervix which doesn’t really feel like anything. The process was short (about 5 mins). What I really didn’t like was the feeling of the suction on your uterus and I accidentally saw the tube with blood going through it.

There was one spot that hurt really bad and I jolted but that’s the worst of it. I asked for them to put an IUD in since my cervix was already dilated so that was really quick and easy. Then they let you go home within 15 minutes or so after they ask your pain level and make sure you’re not bleeding a ton. I didn’t have any pain luckily. I felt tired afterwards but mostly relieved that it was all over.

I for some reason didn’t really feel a connection with the fetus. I did cry before the day of the procedure because it did start to grow on me a little bit, but I also really didn’t like the feeling of something growing inside of me. When I think about it now, it makes me sad that I had to do that. But I couldn’t have provided anything for another human being. I haven’t told anyone because I don’t want any judgement. My friends and family are very judgmental. Friends would think I’m a terrible person for ever having an abortion and family would think I was stupid for ever getting pregnant in the first place. Maybe this will help someone else, though.” –Kelly

#sadness #bestdecision

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