“My name is Sarah. I am 25 years old. My story started roughly two months before finding out I was actually pregnant. I had missed two periods, took countless tests and even went to doctors to do a more accurate blood test. Everything came back negative and clean. I started to carry on with my life not paying any attention to the signs. About two weeks ago I started to feel very foggy, crampy, sick to my stomach, I could not hold anything down. I went to the emergency room due to it being so late at night. Where it took roughly 3 hours to figure out I was 6 weeks pregnant. I cried. My mom was present and she cried. A part of me felt we were crying for two different reasons.
I felt like I was not myself for a moment, scared. Monday came and I went to an OB to do a full work up, when I told them I had missed some periods which the last missed period lined up with my pregnancy. I was almost angry that my doctors put me on acid reflux and sent me on my way. I was faced with a very difficult decision that I did not want to make, but I knew if I put it off I would just ignore it and we all know this is not something to ignore. I found myself on the Planned Parenthood office the day after Christmas and was shaking out of fear. The nurse and the doctor were very compassionate and warm. Based on the difficult choice I had to make, which I know was the fight one for me.
I came in the next day and was given the first dose of medication, I hesitated and the doctor told me to take all the time I needed. For a brief moment my head filled with questions and concerns that I felt would never be answered. I began to cry. My mom’s warm voice then got close and told me it would be okay and in that moment I felt relief. As the next 24 hours rolled around, I began to prep for what was to come. The unknown scared me. As I placed the four tabs on my cheeks I knew I had to face all facts and this was and is the right choice for me and my baby, at that point I was being a mother. Roughly 15 minutes into the tablets dissolving my pain began. I got very sick. The pain was unbearable, I ended up falling asleep on my bathroom floor.
When I awoke, I felt different. Better, I guess. I had passed some large clots. It’s now about 3 and 1/2 hours in and I have some minor cramping still and some bowel movements. This is not something I would ever want to go through again. I am writing this because I find myself to be very sad since the very first emergency room visit. I cry all the time, for moments I am okay. The clinic evaluated me and felt I was falling into a depression state, which I feel may be correct. I like to face things alone. Somehow writing this all out helps me not feel so alone.” —Sarah