“I had a medication abortion at 6 weeks and 2 days. I was on the birth control pill for 15 years. I’ve been with my current partner for 8 years and have never missed a pill. We had been on a holiday and on my 7-day pill free period and I never had a withdraw bleed. This had happened to me once before and it was fine.
I took a test on December 1st and it was positive. I cried and cried. I have never been maternal or wanted children. We made the decision to have an abortion. As I live in Northern Ireland it is illegal, so I had to contact the British Pregnancy Advisory Service (BPAS) and they talked me through what I needed to do. They took my details and arranged a medical consultation the next day at a specific time. I was contacted as arranged and they took all my details and asked medical questions, the date of my last period, etc. They advised I needed to be 6 weeks before I could go ahead with the abortion.
An appointment was made for the December 14th at the Marie Stopes clinic in Manchester. I booked flights and decided to return home the same day. The clinic was about 15 minutes in a taxi from the airport. My appointment was at 11:35 am. We arrived early and were told to go to a waiting area. It was small and very busy. As soon as someone left, someone else arrived. I wasn’t called until 12:30 pm as they were running behind.
I was advised that I needed to go to another waiting room upstairs on my own and my partner was not allowed to come with me. The nurse then checked my details and took my blood pressure and a pin prick of blood from my finger to check my iron levels. She then asked me to lay on the bed and she scanned me. For me this was the worst part.
She said I was 6 weeks and 2 days and if would I like to see the ultrasound. I said no. She then gave me 1 tablet to swallow, along with antibiotic and anti-nausea tablets. Then I had to insert 4 tablets myself vaginally. Once this was done, I waited 10 minutes and I was free to go.
At this stage it was only about 2 pm. My flight home wasn’t until 7 pm. We went and got some food and then, as I felt fine, we got the bus from the city center to the airport. The traffic was quite bad and the bus took ages. That’s when the cramps started. They were like bad period pains. I then started to feel really warm, and then cold, and began to shiver. I felt faint and really sick.
I had a plastic bag with me and I had to be sick into it a few times during the journey. Luckily, I was sat at the back and there was no other passengers nearby. After I was sick I felt better but the cramps continued. When we arrived at the airport, I went to the bathroom but I had not started bleeding yet. This was at 5 pm. We checked in and went to the waiting area and I could feel it starting. I went to bathroom numerous times and there was lots of blood and clots. Our outlet flight was delayed by an hour which worked out for the best. At about 7:10 pm I felt something coming out of me and when I went to bathroom and took down my pants a large jelly-like clot fell out and onto the pad. I can only assume this was the passing of the pregnancy.
After this, I just bled a few smaller clots. I was fine flying home on the plane the flight was only 40 minutes. We got home on Friday evening at about 10 pm. It’s now Sunday and the cramps have came and gone over the weekend, nothing too bad. I’m still bleeding but not heavy and no clots. I’ve cried a lot and I think I panicked and rushed into my decision. Sometimes we get things that are unplanned and not what we wanted at the time and we make decisions in haste. If I had my time over I don’t think I would go ahead with the termination.
I can’t stop thinking about her saying during the scan ‘you are 6 weeks and 2 days do you want to see it?’ Maybe if I had looked I would have changed my mind. At this time, I massively regret my decision. I don’t know if it’s my hormones or if I will continue to feel like this as time goes on. This could have been my only chance in life to be a mother and I may never get that chance again. That’s something I will always have to live with.” —Anonymous