I am 35, I've never had kids, and recently...

“I am 35, I’ve never had kids, and recently got pregnant for the first time. I got an abortion after six weeks.

I feel grief because I feel like I’m giving up my chance to have a legacy in my life; however, my partner is not ready to be a father and I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life knowing him to be quite honest.

Anyway, I wrote a blurb about how I’m feeling at the moment:

‘Tears flow slowly like water from a tap left on. Guilt and grief simmer and wait for the small feeling of relief before creeping back around and starting a new infestation. I drudge around outside carting the 20 pound weights underneath my winter coat. They are back too. I’m so tired of carrying them and having no one to take them, even for a minute, even for a second. He took them once, but then gave me twice as many new ones that I never wanted. I never wanted anything he gave me. I wanted forever to make this decision but had what seemed like an hour, a minute, a second.’” —Shannon


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