“To anyone who is constantly searching online for help and answers to their questions when considering a termination, hello. Firstly, I never thought I would ever contemplate having a termination, let alone go through with it. I found out I was pregnant before I missed my period, as I thought something wasn’t right, so I bought a test, the line was faint but was clearly there. I was in complete shock and disbelief.
I first told my best friend who was great and supportive, and said she would be there for me whatever I decided to do. I already have children to a previous relationship. My new relationship broke down a week prior to me finding out I was pregnant, as his ex came forward stating she was pregnant, then he finished me. I decided to tell the farther, as I thought he had a right to know, and we should make the decision together. The way he reacted was totally out of character. He said he didn’t want anything to do with me or the baby, and made it clear he wouldn’t be there to support me. He told me that if I decided to go ahead with the baby, I’d be alone. He got aggressive and pushed me backwards onto the floor and told me to leave. I got up in disbelief of what he had just done. I was so upset driving home, I knew at that point I was basically alone, and I was about to face the biggest decision of my life alone.
I went to see my GP the next day and explained the situation. She agreed that a termination was the right decision. I went home and waited for a call from the hospital, which I got later that day, to go for a consultation. It was a week away. That week felt like the longest week of my life. I was so upset and stressed and worried and I was constantly googling for answers and advice and help which made me panic more, if I’m honest. In that week, I thought the farther was going to call me. That call never came.
The day arrived to go to my consultation. I first saw a nurse to talk through my reason for a termination and general medical history questions. I was then sent for a scan, which was done vaginally, as nothing showed, and in the ultrasound, she could see a yolk sac and that I was roughly 5 or 6 weeks pregnant. I then went back to the ward to see a doctor just to go through everything again, and what was going to happen, and what to expect. I got booked in the next day to take the first part of medication, which was one pill. I was told this would stop the hormones and detach the pregnancy. I felt fine after that tablet, no symptoms at all.
The next day, I went back to the hospital to complete the termination where the nurse inserted 4 small tablets into the vagina at 8:30 am, and I was told this would make the pregnancy pass, which the bleeding would start 4 to 6 hours later. On the way home, I started to get stomach cramps that were uncomfortable, but not unbearable, just like mild cramps. I went home to bed where I was now bleeding like a period. At about half an hour before 12 pm, I stood up to go to the toilet and I felt a large clot passing, which must have been the pregnancy. I began feeling hot and sweaty, and also had to rush to the toilet to go for the other. This only lasted around a few minutes. The bleeding then went to a normal period for 2 days, then the bleeding got heavier on day 3, and on day 4 I passed another large clot. After this clot there were just tiny clots and a steady bleed. From then on, I bled for around 2 weeks, and now nearly 4 weeks since the termination there is a little blood here and there. I wanted to write my story as I’ve read so many horror stories online, and it’s such a hard decision to make when you’re going through the emotions, and it can be such a lonely time. I hope my story helps others looking for help.” —Anonymous