I never wanted kids...

“I never wanted kids. I knew that from a very young age. Fortunately, I also found someone who shared my same view. We knew our plan, even had funds set aside just in case. That was until I got pregnant.

Suddenly, he told me he had been thinking recently before I discovered I was pregnant, that he wants kids. My world suddenly fell apart. My once set-in-stone plan suddenly had zero support. I knew what I still wanted, but now I was pressured by my rock, by my fiance, who've I've been with for now 7 years, that the decision I wanted to make was the wrong one. He was clouded by the idea I was just scared of being a bad mom, and tried like all hell to convince me I'd be a great mom.

I took a week, suddenly forced to think about it, and everyday I would come to the same conclusion: I. Did. Not. Want. Children. I didn't want to be pregnant. I didn't want to give birth. I didn't want a baby, a child, anything. To his dismay and anger, I made the appointment for an in-clinic abortion.

Since I had horrible morning sickness the two weeks before the appointment, he would take care of me, trying to convince me he would take care of me through the whole pregnancy. Who was this man? He can't even take the dog out when I ask. He was not ready for a child, I was not ready for a child, and I don't understand how he had come to this conclusion. He would give me moments of cold shoulder and moments of comfort. Like whiplash.

The day of the appointment came, his mom took me, since he refused. The appointment, while the paperwork and ultrasound took 4 hours, the actual procedure was 5 minutes, and after I felt so relieved. Immediatly my morning sickness was gone, I had almost no cramping and very little bleeding, less than a normal period.

I don't regret it in the slightest. It's been one day though, and the cold shoulder I get from my fiance is heart wrenching. I don't know what to do. He won't talk to me. I'm trying to give him space and have told him multiple times before and after my abortion that I understand he needs space and know his feelings...I'm lost. But never more sure of the abortion, I knew this was the best thing for me. Even if it ruins a 7 year long relationship. The choice I made was right for ME.” —Anonymous

#doesnotwantchildren #bestdecision

Recent Posts

See All

content warning: rape, sexual abuse, suicide attempts, self harm "I am a Texan. I am a daughter, aunt, niece, wife and most importantly mother. I am a Texan mom. I am a Caucasian white female who was