This not my abortion story...


“This is not my abortion story. These are my abortion stories. That’s right. I’ve had two. After two Paragard IUD failures.

The first was a year and three months ago. After having the Paragard for about 4 years. I was in shock. I already had a 6.5-year-old at the time. A boyfriend of 9 months. Full-time single mom. It just was not the right time and really, I didn’t have any desire to have another child which is why I chose the IUD.

I was scared to death. Afraid of how I would feel about myself after the abortion. But I was also afraid of how I would feel 9 months later with a newborn baby. I chose the surgical abortion. They performed it at 5 weeks 4 days. It was a long day at the clinic but the procedure itself was short. I didn’t feel at all as bad as I thought I would that day.

I recovered at my boyfriend’s house that night and I went on about my life. I met with my doctor who assured me this was a complete fluke of the IUD and we inserted another one... this time she made sure it was “way up there in perfect place”. Fast forward 1 year and 3 months later. I’m late for my period by maybe one or two days. My boobs feel like rocks. I know I’m pregnant. But really? Who gets pregnant twice with an IUD? I take three total tests in 12 hours and all three are positive.

My doctor suggests the pill form of abortion. So, I went in to that same dreadful clinic which I never thought I’d have to go back. I get the first pill. Then wait 24 hours. During that 24 hours it’s just like a “normal” day. I use “normal” lightly. By the way I was only 4 weeks. 4 days. I wake up go to church (hoping not to be struck by lightning), go for a run, play tennis, have a bite to eat, take 4 ibuprofen and finally am able to insert the second set of pills. Then I wait.

I lay for 1.5 hours and finally have to pee. A little blood when I wipe but that’s it. I wait for crashing labor pains because that’s what the internet made me think was going to happen. A few hours go by. I feel “movement”, but I wouldn’t describe it as pain. It didn’t feel good, but it was not bad at all. I got up walked around, sat outside, back to bed, back up, etc. etc. I was restless. I experienced clotting when I peed but that was it. Some blood on my pad but never soaked through at all. Blood when I wiped yes. I would say the process after Insertion was about 4-5 hours, but I never felt that “ok this is it”.

It’s the next day. I had some cramps around midnight after my Ibuprofen wore off. (I took a dose 4 hours after the first dose by the way, just to stay ahead of the pain). I’m bleeding but nothing bad. I walked 4 miles today and went to work. The mental anguish and waiting game were way worse than anything else. I would describe the “pain” as a mild- medium period cramp maybe.

I can’t say which type of abortion I’d choose over the other. The surgical there was more “closure”. I knew it was over. The medical (pill) you are awake, so you never really know the beginning from end. I like that I did not have to be put to sleep. But the surgical is way faster. I don’t know how I’m feeling yet.

It’s only been a day really. I don’t regret my decision, but it does suck I even had to be in this position at all. I’m getting my tubes tied in a few weeks. Due to a blood clotting disorder I can’t have hormones. If you’re reading this, you must be in a similar situation. I am not proud of any of this. But I also know I was doing what I had to do to not get pregnant... or so I thought. I am with the same guy as first abortion, but we just don’t want kids (aside from my son I already have). You are strong. Trust your decision. And you’ll look back one day, and this will just be another bump (mountain) in the road. But you’ll get through.” —Anonymous

#birthcontrol #caringforotherchildren #bestdecision

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