I was 16 just turning 17 at the time...

"I was 16 just turning 17 at the time I became pregnant. It never hit me that something like this could happen to me. I had a year left of high school. So much was happening. My boyfriend at the time was in a military camp DJJ program.

I didn’t find out I was pregnant until about 8 weeks. I was completely scared and thrown off. I found out it was really my ex boyfriends baby. This made me really come to the conclusion I didn’t want this. I was young, I had aspirations to go to college I wasn’t able to have a baby.

So 2 weeks passed I had made an appointment with Planned Parenthood. I remember having to drive all the way to Virginia to avoid being on a waiting list in South Carolina. I could still feel the sorrow and silence in the room with all the girls. A very faint, “Miranda” The nurse called my name. There I was laying on the table, no IV no drugs. Fully aware of what I was doing. I still hear the vaccum. God the vacuum. It was over. I was okay.

A month goes by all my denial and numbness left. I was broken. Guilty. Alone. I regretted it but realized at that time it was the right decision for me and every woman should have that right. It would get to me late at night. Kill me, actually.

But 2 years go by and I thought I never would have kids. But I’m pregnant 6 weeks along and I found out 3 days before the anniversary of the abortion.

I took so much from that experience. I value this baby more than I thought I could. You’re not alone out there. I thought I wasn’t going to be able to have kids again because I got interstitial cystitis shortly after the abortion because of chronic UTI’s. But it happened. Out of all odds. I’m pregnant. I look back at the 17-year-old me and I applaud how strong she was. She knew it was her right. She knew then wasn’t the time. She appreciates life more now. And I’m not a murderer, I’m still me." —Miranda

#sadness #notready #guilt #youngperson

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