I'm almost 40 and this was my second pregnancy...


“I'm almost 40 and this was my second pregnancy, about 8 to 9 weeks along. We have one child who is 10 years old, but our family is already complete. This was not an easy decision to make - in fact, it was rather agonizing simply because it is such a taboo topic that I've never had to address personally. Anyone who says that having an abortion is a decision made lightly is out of their mind.

After discussing everything with my husband, I called my best friend who had a medical abortion 15 years ago. Being able to talk with her about her experience was so helpful in putting my mind at ease. Every woman should have someone she can confide in and discuss this with who has also been through the same thing which is why I'm sharing my story.

There are a lot of reasons why we chose to terminate the pregnancy. Some might say the reasons are selfish, but we knew without a doubt that although we could make it work, it was not what we wanted to do. A child should be something you welcome into your life with all the excitement and joy possible - neither of which applied to us. I was absolutely terrified at the thought of having another child.

I am the breadwinner in our family so taking time off for a pregnancy would be a financial burden and wouldn't leave me any time to bond with the baby because I would have to go right back to work. We would have to hire someone to look after the baby which we didn't want with our first child - why would that be acceptable for a second? Plus, our insurance plan is high-deductible so we could end up paying over $8k out of pocket to have another child. Also not an option for us.

The doctor I saw to confirm the pregnancy wouldn't even discuss having an abortion with me. She made it very clear that I should consider "other" options like adoption because there are so many couples trying to have a baby but cannot. To me, carrying a baby full-term just to give it away like an unwanted white elephant gift at Christmas is abhorrent and definitely not something I could do - physically or emotionally.

Finding a provider to perform a surgical abortion was incredibly hard in my area although I live in a pro-choice state. There is one doctor 30 minutes away, but only takes cash which wasn't financially viable for us. The closest Planned Parenthood to our home doesn't offer abortions either - they only refer you to someone else. So we ended up having to find someone 3 hours away in California who takes our insurance. The procedure was uncomfortable at best, slightly painful at worst (maybe a 5 out of 10).

Having my husband there to keep me calm and breathing made it all bearable. The doctor who performed the procedure was incredible - I felt confident knowing she was capable and experienced. The staff at the clinic were great too - they went out of their way to explain everything and answer any question thoroughly. I cannot thank them enough for giving me the opportunity and choice to have control over my own body. Everyone should have that right.” —Adrienne

#caringforotherchildren #married

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