In March 2018 I had my contraceptive implant removed...

“In March 2018 I had my contraceptive implant removed. I had been bleeding for 9 months non-stop and I couldn’t put up with it anymore. Myself and my OH decided to start using condoms as a method of contraception instead. A week after having my implant removed I started to bleed. I began to track my periods on an app so when my next period in April was late I began to worry. I was told not to stress myself out because my periods may take a long time to get back to normal after having my implant removed.

A few weeks later I started getting very strange symptoms such as constantly needing to pee, tender boobs and mood swings. I took several pregnancy tests and they all came back negative. I was so depressed that I ended up taking sick leave at work. This was when I decided to do one more test.

As soon as my urine hit that stick it turned positive. I couldn’t believe it. I remember checking the packaging to make sure I hadn’t bought a joke pregnancy test or something. So here I was, nearly 21. Months of travelling planned, no house over my head, no savings and now I was pregnant. My boyfriend was very supportive and I decided to tell my mom.

She cancelled her holiday so she could be with me. I knew that I 100% wanted an abortion. I could never imagine having a child. I wanted to experience my life without the restrictions of a child. The next day I called BPAS. They made me an appointment 8 days later at a clinic for a consultation. This was the most difficult thing I had to go through. All the waiting and worrying made me go mad.

The morning sickness started and I couldn’t do simple things such as walking without being sick. At my consultation I noticed the clinic was very busy. I actually found this very comforting to know that so many women were going through what I was.

Firstly, I met with an advisor who discussed my options with me and made sure a termination was what I wanted. Next, I had my scan. Unfortunately, my bladder was very full and because the pregnancy was very small I had to do an internal scan. This wasn’t uncomfortable at all and the nurse talked me through everything as she did it. I was told that I was 5 weeks and 5 days. She described the pregnancy as perfect and this did make me feel sad.

We then discussed what method I wanted. I decided to have the medical abortion simultaneously. This is where you can take all the tablets on the same day. The risks are doubled however, I didn’t want to wait any longer. I felt like my life was on hold. She made sure I understood what could happen. I was surprised that no one online talks about these possible issues. Next I went for a blood test and a quick health examination. I then was able to book my appointment for 8 days later again.

When the nurse went out the room I quickly looked at the scan picture on my file. I don’t know why I did this I just wanted to. What I saw wasn’t a baby. It was a dot on a piece of paper however, that night I did cry myself to sleep. I never imagined being in this situation and I was emotionally and physically drained. I cut ties with my best friend at this point, as she was horrible to me and very unsupportive. She would call me a murderer and would say I had a bump when I didn’t. She was trying to force me to keep something I didn’t want to and I realized I didn’t need that sort of person in my life.

At my termination consultation I met with a different nurse who made sure I hadn’t changed my mind. She gave me a bag with a pregnancy test in, condoms, antibiotics and codeine. She then gave me my first tablet to take orally. I then went to the toilet and inserted four small tablets into my vagina. I was told to wait in the waiting area so the nurse could give me a letter to take home. This letter was necessary in case I had to go to hospital. When I got home I felt fine. I had some mild cramps similar to when you need to go to the toilet.

I took two paracetamol at this point. It took three hours until I started to get more intense cramps and started to bleed. After reading people’s horror stories online I was sure that the pain was going to soon become crippling so I took my codeine tablets however, this pain never came. It simply felt like bad period cramps and was completely manageable. I had multiple occasions where I had the sudden urge to sit on the toilet and push. When I did this I felt something big drop out of me. I did look into the toilet but I couldn’t see anything due to the blood. I am sure that this was the pregnancy as it felt different from the clots I was passing. Also the pain settled down after I passed this. I was able to sleep.

The next morning I had mild cramps and the bleeding was light. I continued to pass small clots here and there but it was similar to having a normal period. Two days later I felt back to normal. No pain. And for the first time in weeks I had no sickness. I had lots more energy. I have to take a pregnancy test in two weeks to ensure the pregnancy is over. After taking this I have been instructed to call my clinic to make them aware of the result regardless or whether it’s positive or negative.

My advice to others out there would be to make this decision for YOU. Do not feel pressured or manipulated by anything or anyone. Also, reading people’s experiences online is a great way to educate yourself, however try not to worry and compare yourself to other people. I was certain that I was going to be in a lot of pain but actually, the procedure was pretty straight forward. You will get through this.” —Anonymous

#medicationabortion #bestdecision #notready #birthcontrol

Recent Posts

See All

content warning: rape, sexual abuse, suicide attempts, self harm "I am a Texan. I am a daughter, aunt, niece, wife and most importantly mother. I am a Texan mom. I am a Caucasian white female who was