“I'm 18 years old, almost 19, in 2 months. My boyfriend, of 6 months now, already has a kid. I found out I was pregnant on the second week of February. I had gotten home from work and decided to take a test because I hadn't had my period in 2 months, but I assumed it was normal because my periods have always been irregular. I cried when the results were positive and was in shock too.
The following day, I told my boyfriend. At first he was very supportive and said we would get through this together. Two days later, he starts telling me he looked into options. I was disgusted by him after hearing him bring up an abortion. He said he wouldn't mind having kids with me because he loves me, but now isn't the right time. It shocked me how selfish and inconsiderate he sounded. I told him I didn't need him in my life or the baby's for that matter. He called me the next day and apologized. I, like always, forgave him and apologized for being upset.
Over the next week, I start to think about how this baby would affect my life too. I was in college, working a minimum wage job, and wasn't sure whether I wanted my boyfriend to be a part of my life forever. Having a kid with someone is a big deal and to me, you should be sure it's the right person.
I made the decision to get a medicated abortion. The appointment was set and I was 8 weeks and 4 days at the time. I made my boyfriend stay in the car. After taking the first pill, I wasn't phased by anything. The following day, I took the second set and immediately regretted it. I was in so much pain and I couldn't move off my bed. I was crying so much because I realized what I had done. I was killing an innocent child inside me, MY CHILD.
After a few hours of intense cramping, it passed. My boyfriend acted as though nothing happened the next day. He talked about him finding a better job because it is what he needs. I didn't bother to argue with him about how insensitive he sounded after what I had just went through. It's been about a week now since it happened. I cry a little every day when I think about the baby that would have been growing inside me still.
I regret my decision so much and it pains me knowing there is nothing I can do to go back. My boyfriend is trying to do his best to be there for me, but I just feel angry with him too. If he was more supportive in the beginning, I might have went through with the pregnancy. I'm not blaming him either though because it was my decision to follow up with the second set of pills that terminated my pregnancy.
I feel alone and bitter now, but I'm not sure when I will start to feel like myself again. I know this was for the best though and I will continue to get an education for my dream job. Later on, I do intend to have kids...with my current boyfriend, I'm not sure about that though.” —Anonymous