I was 10 weeks pregnant. The decision wasn't easy...

"I was 10 weeks pregnant. The decision wasn't easy. Today, I find hope and comfort for any woman who chooses to terminate a pregnancy. Here's my story.

I'm 24 years old. My boyfriend and I got pregnant the day my grandma had passed. It was unplanned, but we were so excited. I went to my first ultrasound, and everything was great. Then, around Christmas time.... I started to have anxiety.

My baby was due in August and I am supposed to start Nursing School in August. I'm a 4.0 student and knew that having a newborn starting school would jeopardize my dreams of becoming a nurse. My family and friends were all excited for me. I started feeling a rage of guilt, and discomfort during christmas time. I was getting so much attention, and realized - I'm not ready to be a mom.

I told my boyfriend I wanted an abortion and we cried for days. It took me weeks to even call the clinic, hoping I would change my mind..... I didn't. I finally called the clinic a week later and scheduled my procedure for 4 days later.

I couldn't sleep, eat, or even look at myself.

The day of my abortion was the hardest day of my life, but the clinic was so supportive and nice. I had an IV Sedation for my abortion, so I was awake but don't remember anything. All I remember was the nurse saying you're done, and I said to her '.... So I'm not pregnant anymore?' I started to bawl. The nurse hugged me, and I went to recover.

It's been almost 2 months since my abortion - I feel lots of guilt but I know I didn't want to raise a child I would regret, and I wasn't ready. I learned that when I'm ready to be a mom, I will be pregnant again someday.

I recovered from my abortion days after the procedure. I had to tell all my friends I miscarried. Only my boyfriend knows the truth. I wish I could openly talk about it, because I find days of not being able to breathe I want my baby back so bad.

Abortion is okay. It's your body, and you're decision. Even though I regret mine, I look at it as empowerment, that I took control of my life. And when I'm a nurse, my rainbow baby will come." —Anonymous

#sadness #notready #prochoice #regret

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