“It was my junior year of college. I had just completed all of my pre-requisites for the Nursing program and received my acceptance letter to start clinicals for the Fall of 2018. I was in a 4 year relationship with my high school sweetheart that I had intentions to marry, I had a wonderful job on campus and I would be the first in my family to ever go to college. Never in a million years did I think that a simple ‘cold’ would mean that I was pregnant.
I was poor, living on a shoe-string budget, trying to make ends meet, while I living with my parents who worked endlessly to provide food on the table for us, my boyfriend was financially unstable at the time and had just started working at the job that he's been waiting for and nursing school would become a full-time job for me.
In the moment, shock and fear came over me and when I told my boyfriend of 4 years, he told me, ‘It's your body, your choice, but lets look at the reality of our situation’.
Thoughts raced through my mind like, ‘Yes, you and Carl would make excellent parents’. and ‘Your parent's are even willing to help out, until your boyfriend gets back on his feet’. But the real questions were, ‘Are you 100% sure that you want to do this? Are you really, really, sure that you are prepared for this? Do you really have to?’
My boyfriend and I talked about it, even argued about it, as he wasn't ready at ALL (neither was I) until we both came up with the same answer. It wasn't what we wanted, but it was for the best interest of our unborn child. We both grew up Christian baptists and our decision wasn't taken lightly. I believe that God knows our hearts and interests more than we do ourselves and I prayed every day/night (I still do to this day) for His guidance.
About five weeks later, I would be entering Planned Parenthood with my mother and boyfriend by my side and getting an In-clinic abortion. It was painful, emotional and overall a sad experience, but I had the support of my whole family and boyfriend and I knew after the procedure was done, that I had in fact, made the right decision.
There are days where I feel overwhelmed with the fact that I was actually someones, ‘parent’ and other days I get stronger and I feel that I am okay. I do not regret my decision, but I do love my unborn child unconditionally and wonder what could have been. I have a sense of peace knowing that my Child is in heaven with God and waiting for me on the other side one day.”