"I am a married mom of four and I had an abortion today. I found myself pregnant and with a 11, 7, 2 and 1 year old. I couldn't put myself thru another pregnancy. I couldn't handle it physically, emotionally, or mentally. Nobody wants an abortion, but I believed it was the best option for me.
I made an appointment for the initial consultation and scan and set the procedure appointment for today. I initially found out at seven weeks but due to the cost of the procedure I couldn't afford it until I was 9 weeks pregnant. I opted for the surgical procedure because I felt at ease knowing I would be in a controlled environment and that it would be over in a matter of minutes.
Waiting was the hardest part. Waiting for the appointment I would find myself thinking about life with a fifth child but it never lasted more than a minute then I would come back to reality and realize I couldn't be the best mom I could be with another child and worried it would bring me to my breaking point on top of previous high risk pregnancies and complications.
I woke up this morning with the feeling of acceptance of my decision. The procedure itself was quick and the hardest part was the numbing of the cervix but it felt like a pinch and was tolerable. I choose conscious IV sedation, which I was told would give me patchy memory of the procedure but I remember everything which isn't a bad thing. In the end my over all feeling was relief and appreciation. Appreciation that women have a choice and are able to take control of their life and decide what is best for them and their situation." —Anonymous