I found out I was pregnant 5th of November 2015...

“I found out I was pregnant 5th of November 2015. I have been with my boyfriend 6 years and am only 19 years old. It was the first time I had ever needed to take a pregnancy test, it was safe to say I was beyond terrified before doing it. I knew deep down I was pregnant it was a really strange feeling, when those 2 lines appeared. within seconds of looking at it my whole life literally shattered around me, I genuinely felt like it was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. Keeping him/her just wasn't an option.

I wanted to tell my mum, I thought long and hard about it but I didn't in the end. From start to finish I went through it on my own without telling her, some days I think about still telling her. But I realise there is no positive in telling her apart from a weight being taken off my shoulders - it would only make her upset, especially the fact I went through it without her by my side.

My best friend came to the clinic with me to see how far gone I was and get blood taken, I was 8-9 weeks. I took a pregnancy test on a thursday and was in hospital the following friday for the main part of the procedure. I really wanted my boyfriend to come with me but he couldn't get the time away from work. I was gutted as I knew I would be absolutely terrified doing it on my own.

In the end it turns out I'm relieved he didn't come. It was a horrible experience that I'm so glad I didn't have anyone there to watch me. Going through with it really broke my heart. I think about it most days, not so much regret as I know at the time it really was my only option but just so saddened that it had to happen. I had a week where I'd ran out of pills because I couldn't a doctors appointment, probably biggest mistake of my life. For the rest of my life I will always think about my abortion, the guilt I'll carry along. RIP little one I truly am sorry xxxx” —Anonymous

#relief #notready

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