Hello. i recently had an abortion. This is my story...

"Hello. i recently had an abortion. This is my story. i am 23 years old. i am studying art and computer animation in college. I've got one semester left before i graduate. i live with both of my Catholic parents since going to college in America is so expensive. i can't afford to live on my own with my minimum wage job. I've been dating this guy for about....6 or 7 months? We've been friends for years and knew each other way back in high school. He's a great guy and when i found out i was pregnant he said that no matter what my decision was that he would stand by my side. When i pressed him with further questions like what would he do if he was in my situation he said he would probably go for abortion even though he doesn't like it.

My parents were both supportive but also not supportive when i told them. Originally when i told them i was pregnant naturally they were distraught because we are barely getting by. i pour every penny i have into my schooling and that's after financial aid and taking out student loans. My dad's income is extremely shotty since he only works if there are contracts to be had. My mom works at Walmart.....Her income is not enough to sustain all of us. However they still told me that if i decided to keep the baby they would be 100% behind me.

i told them i was going to go in to get an abortion and that's when they no longer became supportive. They didn't lecture me or tell me i was going to hell. But they strongly strongly urged me to reconsider. And told me that i was on my own as far as going to the appointment and paying for it. That was fine however because between my boyfriend and myself we were able to scrape up enough to get the abortion since our insurance didn't cover it.

i didn't make this decision lightly however. i was one of those people that always thought abortion was quite icky. i still feel that way even after going through it. i don't have a problem with other women who decide to get abortions because its their body and should be their decision. However i always told myself that i wouldn't be one of those women. i would go through with the labor and give it up for adoption if i really had to.

But when it actually HAPPENED to me i started to think differently. What if the baby was adopted into a horrible family? What if i was sentencing it to a life of pain and hardship? i had no way of knowing what the future held. Also....i felt entirely too young to be pregnant. i was in denial about the whole thing for quite awhile actually. i am immature for my age and my entire life and focus consisted of school.

My senior year is the most stressful time because i have a pass/fail art class that could decide whether or not i graduated that year. And i know it's selfish but i knew having a baby would completely mess all of that up. i would be too stressed by the fact that i was growing a human inside of me to be able to focus on graduating. So i decided to get the abortion. And i had to wait a week for the day when it would happen. it was torture.

When i finally went in for the procedure i got an ultrasound that told me that i was 10 weeks and 2 days pregnant. i felt like i was so far along and that all that time i wasted being in denial of the pregnancy just made the whole thing worse. i received the surgery but was completely put under for the whole thing so i didn't feel a thing. When i woke up i felt....such emotion. i hadn't cried once during the entire dramatic roller coaster ride of this experience.....until now.

When the whole thing finally ended i released a quiet cry. i was relieved. i felt guilty. i just cried for myself and my situation. it's been about a week since the operation and i'm dealing with the bleeding and recuperation. You may feel fine after an abortion but it's really best to take it easy for a few days. i still feel twinges every now and then in my lower abdomen from the cramps. i have decided to become abstinent until i am ready to carry a baby into this world." —anonymous

#notready #collegestudent #relief #religionandfaith #sadness

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