The tale of 2 stories. Im 24 now, I was 19 with my first abortion...

"The tale of 2 stories. Im 24 now, I was 19 with my first abortion. We were not in the postion to have a child, living in motels and eating burgerking everyday. Thats not fit for any family. Especially mine. I'd give long stares to the parents who did in the cold winter months, when its 5 below or near. So I had my mom take me, she was cool about it which made me feel exremly comfortable.

When I got there I filled out the consent forms, from there it was mostly a waiting game. I waited for about five hours, my mom came and went then returned then left again. I was 9 weeks along, at the time of the procedure I was there alone; but that was fine, I didnt want her to be there in the room with me. The place was nice it had a beautiful waiting room, dim lit, candels, magazines, movies were playing, carpeted, coffee, tea, they went the nine yards to make it comfy. Anyway I get called I go inside a dark lit room with a table and a machine and a rolling chair, there was the doctor and the nurse. The nurse took my hand and told me this and I'll never forget exactly " I'm right here for you, hold my hand and squeeze as tight as you need to if you feel anything." Then we held a conversation about school and by the time we started we were finished we didnt get to talk at all. I got up and put my shorts on and she sent me to another well lit room with a little tea and chocolate. I stayed there for about 30 minutes and called my boyfriend, he came and we went back to life.

My second abortion was more difficult because we've been together much longer. 5 years longer. We've gotten it together moved into a beautiful home and bought 2 cars, well you'd think 'hell, now is the time right?' NO. Im not ready once again, now it's not getting settled its financially and timing. I did the math, with the bills we have now and the current jobs we have are not healthy. I travel every week to 2 weeks, where as he travels and stays in the city hes sent to the entire time, for 2 weeks to 1 month at a time. so the only way we can see eachother is on our off weeks which is hopefully every 2 to 3 weeks, and we spend about 2 weeks together at a time. Complicated, right? Plus with me flying every other week isn't healthy for my pregnancy, I've already had a miscarriage this way flying to HI for buisness.

So I found out when I went to the hospital to confirm, because of course I peed on a stick and it was postive. They told me i was 5 weeks and 6 days. I was torn, so happy on the outside because I was pregnant again but angry inside because I dont want it KINDA and now I have to cough up $500 for another abortion POSSIBLY.

I wait 10 days to see how I feel about it. By this time I WANTED to keep my baby, I named them Adrian and we talked to eachother, we had an understanding between us, but they were fussy. 3 more weeks pass, I had to fly to another job that lasted 2 weeks and I waited 1 more week once I got home so I could make love to my boyfriend unprotected once more. But the time had to near where we had to make a decision about our careers and life. Should I give up my good paying job for 1 year or so or should I keep Adrian and just let my boyfriend work double? Both decision were selfish to either person, but I chose to go get the abortion.

At first, I was like WTF am I doing hes my little angel. Then I just went for it, I did it, it was fast again but the pain physically from this one is unbearable sometimes. The first one I didnt bleed or clot so much maybe 3 days afterwards. But Adrian! I told him he would be my little angel that follows me everywhere and watch me. I've had a few cramps but I'll be fine. Rest and water. But overall I dont regret either because when I do bring my baby into the world I'll be in a great position to raise them. Im proud of myself actually." —Ashining Star

#bestdecision #multipleabortions #notready

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