The first thing you should know is ...

"The first thing you should know is that I have a wonderfully supportive, free/forward thinking family. I was 18 when I discovered I was pregnant. My boyfriend never knew, we split up a couple of weeks before I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. We always used protection. It wasn't a hard decision or even really a choice, I knew I wasn't ready to be a mother.

I went with my friend Anna to the clinic. When it was over I went home. Sometimes I think about how my life would be now, but thats no use to anybody. I discovered I was unable to have children last year. Idiopathic Premature Ovulation Failure (IPOF). Does this make me wish I had thought a little longer, changed my mind? No it doesn't. I wasn't ready then, I'm not even ready now.

One day I may be and there are many options open to me. (I may in fact one day be able to conceive. Idiopathic basically means they don't know why and so it could switch back on as easily as it switched off). When that day comes, IF that days comes when I decide that I want to have a child in my life, it will be the right decision because it will be one I have made in the right situation with the right mental, physically and emotional health.

Throughout all this I did not tell a single member of my family. I was 18 years of age. Had been in a steady relationship, of 2 years. We always used protection. We had done everything we were supposed to, yet I still got pregnant and I still felt ashamed, so ashamed that I locked it away from my family, from the very people that would have helped and supported me. I know not everybody is lucky enough to have a family that will support you, but if you do, talk to them, its my only regret. I look back at it now, I can honestly say that I'm not proud of my decision, but I'm not ashamed either." —Charlotte

#birthcontrol #confidence #notready

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