I got pregnant to my ex about ten years ago. I'm 33 now...

"I got pregnant to my ex about ten years ago. I'm 33 now. It took me a long time to feel okay about it. Despite the fact that I have always been pro-choice and thought it was okay to have an abortion, I really had a moral dilemma when I had to face the choice. I wish, now, that I hadn't tortured myself about it. It makes me sad that I was so mean to myself. If I had had a child, my life would be immeasurably worse than it is now - it's not that I think a child is an inherently negative thing, but there are so many things I couldn't have given myself or my child if I had had it. My ex wasn't the right person for me and in my opinion he won't be any kind of father to anyone. He didn't even come to the clinic with me and I had to beg him to visit me that night I'd had the operation. It took me a long time to realise it, but that's why I didn't want to have the child. I knew that he would be an absent and resentful father. No child could be happy with an inexperienced and financially poor mother and a father who wished they didn't exist - I didn't want to bring someone into the world who would have to deal with that reality. On the day of the operation there were some nice nurses and some mean ones - I'm sure I was looked down upon for being with female friends rather than a male partner. So it took me a while to recover and some of the wounds ran deep, but I know now, in my heart of hearts that it was not the wrong thing to do. I know I did the right thing and no Right wing posturing about the unborn will ever shake that belief again." —Felicity

#prochoice #unhealthyrelationship #notready #bestdecision

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