"I had an abortion about 3 months ago. I found out I was pregnant during the very last week of winter break, right before my second semester of college. I wasn't exactly dating the father - we were both in the same circle of friends, and more or less bored over our uneventful vacation. I took the test after almost passing out at a friend's house, followed by days of finding it very hard to breathe (I smoke, but I had been smoking even less than usual and still these things were happening).
I had always told myself that if I were to find myself in this situation, I wouldn't go through with it. The decision was almost robotic. But from the moment I found out, I wanted that baby. I couldn't explain it, I just felt responsible for what was growing inside of me. The father was supportive at first, even paid for half, but he had always been pro-life and ultimately took out a lot of his guilt on me.
He took me to my first appointment at Planned Parenthood but, because of school, he wasn't there for the real thing. The waiting room was a blur. So was the night after. All I can recall about the next day was feeling empty, like something was missing from me. Time has gone by and I know I made the right decision. I'd be 4 months pregnant right now. I wouldn't have my job, my internship, or a successful second semester if I were getting ready to have a child. The rest of my life is ahead of me. Still, I can't help but think about it, and how I would have done things differently if I could have." —anonymous