"It was an accident and not planned. It just kind of happened. I already had a 7 year old son who I had right out of high school and who was also an accident. I found out before I went on vacation with my family that I was pregnant. I didn't tell anyone except for my best friend until a couple weeks after I found out. The whole time I was on vacation I was secretly hoping to have a miscarriage.
My boyfriend and I discussed our options and decided that abortion was the right decision. After all I was starting nursing school and we weren't planning on starting a family together. As much as I wanted my baby I knew the best choice was abortion given the current circumstances. I was ok with having the abortion and my boyfriend was very supportive.
However I could never have prepared myself for how much it affected me. All the emotions and the feeling of loss were great. Though I believe I made the right choice I can't stop thinking about the baby I could have had. And the one thing that bothers me the most is not knowing the sex of the baby. It’s almost like there is no closure because of the unknown sex. I can't bring myself to name the child I lost not knowing if it was a boy or girl. I will carry my unborn child in my heart wondering if it was a boy or a girl knowing that I love it and wishing I could have kept it. This is a burden I will forever keep." —anonymous