I got pregnant when I was 12...


"I got pregnant when I was 12, by the boy next door. He was 4 and-a-half years older than me. He was my boyfriend and we started having sex when I was 11. He and I tried to make the arrangements for my abortion ourselves, and he also took me to my first gynecological exam, which was the initial pregnancy testing. But I remember being forced into telling my mother. I can't remember for certain why, maybe because I needed her permission.

She and I had an almost estranged relationship even though we lived in the same house, and she, myself, and my brother had no communication or even eye contact. I felt motherless. But then I was forced to tell her and all hell broke out. My life was miserable enough without the screaming, yelling, name-calling, slamming, and the worst was my brother punching me in the face and her allowing him, as if I deserved that punishment.

I hated her and the last person I wanted by my side was her. Not all mothers are good mothers. She made me do everything all over again: another gyno exam, pregnancy test, all over again that I just had done a week earlier.

On a very snowy winter day we made our way down to Pittsburgh. It was an ordeal, but I never had any doubts about terminating my pregnancy. In fact, I was already thinking that I didn't want kids, ever. Why would I when life was so miserable? Why would I bring a baby into this kind of world? I've never regretted my decision to this day, 35 years later. I never had kids, still don't want them, and I applaud women who realize they shouldn't have kids, that know they aren't cut out to be mothers. I think it is very responsible to terminate your pregnancy under these circumstances. But my story doesn't stop there. Three times during my life, after my abortion at the age of 12, I've gotten pregnant while on the pill. I was never good at remembering and taking them at the right time. So I had 3 more abortions. Then I got a Norplant which lasts 5 years, so all was well. Guess what happened after 5 years? I went back on the pill (due to side effects from Norplant--I didn't want to do that again, besides I thought I was now mature enough). Yes, I got pregnant again. I was engaged at the time but still knew I didn't want kids. As much as the thought of children is delightful, I knew I could never be a good, responsible mother. It's been at least 15 years now with no pregnancy scares, but if it were to happen, I would do the same thing again, and be proud of myself for doing what I think is right for me or any potential child. One more thing: my story, at least in its parts, is very, very common." —Lisa D

#preteen #notready #birthcontrol #doesnotwantchildren

Recent Posts

See All

When I had my abortion I was only 18...

"When I had my abortion I was only 18. I originally didn’t want to have it, but after I was told by the dad that he didn’t want anything to do with me or the baby I knew it would be a bad idea to have

I got an NHS medical abortion in May 2019...

“I got an NHS medical abortion in May 2019. I am 22 years old and in a very happy and loving 5-year relationship. We have always spoken about having children and are very excited about one day having

There is still some secret shame...

"There is still some secret shame that lingers inside, coming from a religious home, coming from a Bangladeshi home. I'm 23 now. I had grown up thinking being a mother was all that a woman could be. T

A PROJECT OF
Preterm logo

© Preterm 2018 | 12000 Shaker Boulevard, Cleveland, OH 44120 | info@preterm.org