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Sharing Our Stories

Behind every abortion is a real woman’s life and her story. Here are some stories that women have shared.  Please consider sharing your own experience by using the form below. Feel free to include your name or share your story anonymously.

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I was 32 when I found out I was pregnant ...

I was 32 when I found out I was pregnant. My youngest child was only four months old at the time. I was a single parent working two jobs to support the six I already had. I couldn't bring another into the fold when we were barely getting by already.

I called my partner and told him. He was very supportive of the decision and offered to pay for all of it. He told me to make the appointment and he would drive. In Missouri, there is a 24 hour consent law, so I took myself the first day and put down a payment. The next day he brought me in and paid for the rest of the procedure.

There were women of all ages and social statuses in the waiting room. We were all there for the same reason. We stared at one another in our silent solidarity.

The procedure was quick and relatively painless. They had someone there to talk to me and hold my hand the whole time. They were very supportive and kind. I had an IUD put in immediately following the procedure so this would never happen to me again.

He dropped me off and asked if I was okay. I'm going to be fine, I told him. I went inside and laid down. I had a good long cry. I wasn't sad. I was relieved. All my stress and anxiety over what and how I was going to make it was gone.

That was almost three years ago. If given the same circumstances, I would do it again in a heartbeat. I know I made the right choice. --Nichole J

 

I had an an abortion two months ago ...

I had an abortion two months ago. The reason why I had an abortion was because my ex told me he wasn't ready to have a child yet. At the moment he told me that, I told myself that I didn't want to have a child with someone that doesn't want it. Also, we were arguing a lot and I always told myself that I never wanted to be a single mother. I grew up without a father and I wish I had one. I did not want that to happen to my child, too . Now that I look at it, I feel so guilty. I have been crying almost everyday, even now. I never thought my ex boyfriend would be able to take me and see the abortion procedure. After the abortion, I felt like I hated him because he didn't stop me from having the abortion. Two weeks ago, I broke it off with him and he moved out of my place. I couldn't be with him anymore. Now I feel alone, betrayed, and guilty. --Yvette

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It was last year, the beginning of June ...

It was last year, the beginning of June, two months before my seventeenth birthday, and I found out I was pregnant. I was very scared and worried what my parents would think once they had found out their only daughter was pregnant. I ended up having a friend tell my mother about the pregnancy; it broke her heart. She was leaning toward me getting an abortion, but at first, I was totally against it. I had thought if I got an abortion I would regret it the rest of my life. The thought of an abortion became a lot easier after my mother and cousin talked to me about their abortions in the past. I put a lot of thought into it, and realized I wasn't ready to bring a child into this world. My child would have been due in February, and I really don't regret what I have done. It just proves I wasn't ready to bring a child into this world yet. --Courtney

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I had my first, and hopefully last, abortion ...

I had my first, and hopefully last, abortion today. Happy St. Patrick's day to me, right? I'm very sad but I knew I had to do it. I'm 25 and have been with my boyfriend off and on for 6 years. I found out I was pregnant 4 days before my appointment. I was nervous, scared, and fully confident. The only thing is, I am 25, done with school, and have a good job. So why can't I do this? I can't afford it and I know my boyfriend will end the relationship because of it. There is a part of me that is very sad to miss this opportunity, but I really think it's best. The procedure was painful and scary but only lasted a few minutes. I'm spending the day recovering and watching "16 and Pregnant", how convenient. If there is any part of you that says "I don't want this ", don't do it. --Stefanie

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I was already the mother of 2 children ...

I was already the mother of 2 children. Both of whom I knew I was already on my own with for 2 separate reasons. I met a guy who claimed to be single and to only have one older child. After a short time, I found out I was pregnant. He had more children than he said he did, he was married, and his wife was pregnant. I talked with friends about this and they suggested an abortion. I was always pro-choice but never thought I would ever have an abortion. After thoroughly thinking about everything, I called Preterm and made an appointment. I had 3 appointments all together. The first went smoothly. The second I was very nervous, that's when I got the pill for the medical abortion. The third was the check up, to make sure everything went ok. It did, just as expected. I was about 7 weeks. It was physically painful. I felt better within 3 days or so. However, I encountered protesters on visits 2 and 3. Visit 2, they tried to block the drive and yelled at me the whole way in, but were gone when I came out. Visit 3, the guy called me 1 too many names while I waited for someone to back out so I could pull in. I ended up giving that one a piece of my mind. I do not regret my decision. I am married now, have 3 children and 1 on the way. My current pregnancy and baby were planned. I know more every day that having 3 on my own with no family support or child support would have been no way to live. I did what I needed to do at the time. I also had ignorant people who ended up finding out what happened try to broadcast my business on a social networking site and in a public place. Thankfully no one paid attention to that person, or joined her to judge me, and my kids who were with me didn't catch on to what was being said. I will tell them one day only if I need to, to provide support or let them know it is ok. I know many people who have had abortions, and their support helped me make my decision. I am thankful for the support I had, and for the few who stayed right by my side to make sure I was ok. I hope my story can help someone else. Never worry about what people who will never have to walk in your shoes think about it. There are plenty who have had to walk in your shoes who accept you and your decisions. That's all that matters! --anonymous

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I met a guy years ago named Doug ...

I met a guy years ago named Doug who was a new neighbor in the next building from where I lived. We started hanging out and eventually ended up having sex. Before we had sex for the first time, I asked him two questions.  Question number one was: “Do you have any diseases?” He told me: “No.” Question number two was: “Shouldn’t we be using protection?” He said, “Oh, don’t worry, I had a vasectomy.” Well, we continued to date and have sex without protection. After a while of unprotected sex, I got pregnant. I couldn’t believe it because I thought vasectomies were 100% and he was the only guy I was with, so it was his. When I told him I was pregnant, he avoided me and wouldn’t call me back. My mom and I decided to go over to his grandmother’s house to discuss the pregnancy. He told my mom to get out and that he had nothing to say to her. I tried to stay and talk to him. He said, “I don’t want a baby. You need to get an abortion. I should kick you in the stomach."

We set up an appointment for an abortion but I changed my mind at the last minute and said I didn’t want an abortion. He got really mad. He said, “If you have that baby, I’m going to make you look like an unfit mother.” He said this because I was diagnosed with a mental illness in 1990 and he was planning to use this against me. “Also, I do not love you. If you think this baby is going to keep us together, you’re wrong. You don’t know what you’re messing with.” This truly frightened me because I didn’t know what he meant by that. “You are nothing but a crazy bitch.” I cried my eyes out.

About two weeks later, he tried calling me and left a message on my voicemail saying, “We need to talk!” I did not want to talk to him because I felt he was going to pressure me about getting the abortion, so I ignored his calls.

After being two and a half months pregnant, I decided to have an abortion on my own for many reasons. First of all, I was in a toxic relationship. Doug would say things like, “I need to see you.” I would take the bus as soon as possible, at any hour, to see him. When I would get there, he would say, “What the hell are you doing here?”

Because of my mental illness, I need a lot of sleep. I wouldn’t be able to get up in the night for a baby because my medications are so sedating. I was so sick every morning. I would take one bite of an apple or a sip of water and throw up. I was throwing up morning, noon, and night. I felt so sick, I thought I would die. I wasn’t even keeping down my medications. I was scared and had little money, so I made an appointment with Preterm and, after the counseling session, I decided to go through with the abortion. That was the decision I made and now I have to live with it.

About two months after the abortion, I got a letter from Doug saying he was in jail, but he wouldn’t tell me why. I called the court and found out he was arrested for burglary. He tried to steal from his dad’s friend and somehow got caught. He started to write me letters from jail, asking me if I was pregnant. I lied and told him I had a miscarriage, not an abortion, because I was mad at him. Eventually, I told him it was an abortion because I wanted him to feel how hurt I was from the whole incident. His reaction was, “I thought so.” No remorse or anything. I felt sorry I told him.

I also have to admit some other things he did to me. I had just gotten a debit card and he asked me for the pin number. I thought nothing of it and gave him the pin number. Well, one night I was at his house and one of his friends came over while I was resting in the other room. I overheard Doug say, “Karen has a debit card.” He kept coming into the bedroom to check if I was awake or asleep. I got up to go to the bathroom and when I came back, he was gone, but his friend was still there and I asked where Doug was. His friend told me that Doug went to the store. I checked my purse and my debit card was missing. I knew right then that he took it. I had just gotten the card and was happy about it. When he asked me the pin number, I told him because I trusted him. When he came back from the store, I asked him where my debit card was and he said he used it to deposit his paycheck. A couple of days later, I found out from the bank that he deposited an empty envelope and withdrew $260.00 from my account. I had to borrow money from my mom to get my account back in order. Later, when I confronted him, he said he was drunk and couldn’t remember what he did. He told me he would pay me back and never did. I filed a police report and have saved it to this day. The police said they couldn’t do anything because he stole under $500.00. It was considered a misdemeanor.

Not only did Doug cause me problems, but also he could have gotten me in a lot of trouble. I remember one day he called me and said, “Let’s go clipping.” I said, “What’s clipping?”

Well, we got to his uncle’s house and in the backyard were marijuana plants. Doug started clipping them and put them in the trunk of his car. I said to Doug, “You can get in a lot of trouble for this.” He acted like it was no big deal. I have never in all my life tried drugs. Not only did Doug smoke marijuana but I also found out he was addicted to cocaine and would snort diet pills. After I told Doug about the abortion and saw his reaction, I had enough and left him for good.

Some years later, I saw an article in the newspaper that an agency helped Doug find a job. This county agency provides programs for people with criminal histories. Doug was featured in the article because this agency gave him the confidence to find a job and he was earning $65.00 an hour. My mom was sick when I showed her the article. She said, “Who would hire that creep?” Doug had still not offered to pay me back, though he was employed.

I recall Doug bragging at one time that he had slept with over 100 women. Staying with the wrong guy and trying to make a toxic relationship work can ruin your life, so be careful who you get involved with. I hope this story can help someone. --Karen

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I'm not from America ...

I'm not from America. I had my abortion in a country where everything was free. I was four months pregnant, and the procedure would have cost around 5000 dollars, at a guess. I wanted to keep the baby, but my circumstances changed. The father of the baby tried to kill me. I was only twenty, and I didn't know how I could protect myself and the child from this man. The abortion was long and painful, but the nurses in the clinic were very kind to me. That made it much easier.

I'm thirty years old now. I'm married to a wonderful man. We have a happy, healthy little toddler and we're planning to have another baby soon. The happiness I went on to find wouldn't have been possible without my abortion. --Zara

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I was already a mother when I had my abortions ...

I was already a mother when I had my abortions. I love my children. I believe that my work as a parent is my most important job.

When I had my first abortion, I was a single mother. I had just found the courage to end an abusive relationship. It was an incredibly empowering and scary step to try to stand on my own when I had nothing. My baby girl was 9 months old and my income was well below the poverty line. I prayed and lifted all that was weighing upon me to God. And, with all the love in my heart, I gave the potential life growing within me back to our Creator.

I am thankful for the health and fertility bestowed on me. I am also grateful that I was able to safely postpone growing my family until our circumstances were more stable. I truly feel that my experiences with abortion were a blessing—a part of the miraculous cycle of life and part of the millennia long history of humans’ efforts to understand and responsibly control our fertility.

Good women have abortions. Good MOTHERS have abortions. --Sara

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I was 18, attending college, and became pregnant ...

I was 18, attending college, and became pregnant. My boyfriend and I were dating on and off for about a year and a half. After about 6 months of being in college, I discovered I was 8 weeks pregnant and I put off telling my boyfriend because I was scared he would be mad at me. We were always constantly arguing, so I figured he would freak and leave me. I finally got up the courage to tell him and surprisingly, he was very supportive. He immediately wanted an abortion. The morning after I told him, he made the phone call for the appointment. I personally disagreed but with him coming from a very prestigious family in our hometown, he felt as if it would ruin his family. During the whole process, he was very supportive and stuck by my side. A year later and looking back on it, I think that I made a great decision. I was too young and have my whole life ahead of me. If I hadn't gone through with it, I know that I wouldn't have accomplished the things that I have. Now my boyfriend and I are still together but more cautious. Right before my procedure, I read a lot that it ruins your relationship but really it brought us closer. I believe it's a time where you really have to be open with that person and if he isn't supportive than he isn't worth your time. --Stacie

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Twenty years ago, I had an abortion ...

Twenty years ago, I had an abortion because I wanted one. My reasons are my own and are valid because I say they are. Just like each woman's choice to have an abortion or to not have one is ultimately her own decision and is valid because it is her decision about her body, her life, and her future.

Shaming women, blaming women, harassing women and our supportive partners, family and friends and our medical providers will not stop abortions. Shame, fear and misinformation will not stop people from having sex, or having unwanted pregnancies or having abortions.

We must never go back to the days of unsafe, self-induced or underground illegal abortions. There is no reason why this topic needs to continue to be surrounded by stigma and shame. We won't go back.

To me, the most important part of my story is this: my abortion was safe, legal and accessible to me. I want every woman to always have the same reproductive option I had. --Mary Kelley

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I am 20 years old ...

I am 20 years old. I have 2 children, both by the same man, who is the only man I've ever had intercourse with, and the only man I've ever loved. Our oldest is soon to be 5 years old, and our youngest is 7 1/2 months. Tomorrow I'm calling to schedule an abortion. I just found out that I am pregnant again, despite the fact I am on the birth control pill. I'm scared to death that I will later regret it, or it will be extremely painful. This is my only choice, considering my husband's work has slowed down during the winter months, and we are pressed for time to buy a house, and money is VERY tight. I'm in college, full time for nursing as well. Having a child right now will put such a stress on my schoolwork and home life. We struggle enough as it is. I'm not going to have another child if I can't promise them a great life. I do not regret my other children, but sometimes it's a real struggle providing for them and adding another will just make things even more terrible. So glad I can get my feelings out on this site. Wish my family luck during this journey. --anonymous

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I actually had started up my own website ...

I actually had started up my own website but then put it on hold until I had more funds to keep it up and running after my abortion. I am glad to see more and more sites to help women after having an abortion. Most people think once it’s over that the issue or any concerns are done, but definitely the time after the abortion can be critical too. I went through so much mental ache and pain after my abortion. It was so difficult because my mind kept wondering if that was the right decision. My boy at the time just disappeared and wasn’t there for me, and no one knew that I had an abortion. I actually ended up writing a story about my situation and the effects abortion had on me. I wrote the article and it was published in my university magazine that covers different political/cultural issues. It really helped me express myself and hopefully got others to realize that they are not alone in having an abortion and that their friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, or family members should not judge them and should really support and be there for them during and after having an abortion.

Abortion is not an easy thing. There are so many questions and concerns that circle the topic of abortion, but if there are people supporting and helping someone through the process of abortion it can become easier to deal with. It can help save that girl's life even. --Carmen P.

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I was so scared as a 14-year-old ...

I was so scared as a 14-year-old going to the 9th grade—I found out that I was having a child. The father was 3 years older than me but was very happy about being a father; I, on the other hand, was not. He didn't like and still doesn't like the fact that I "killed his child." My mother found out and I begged for her to let me get an abortion. She did and the experience was horrible. I was almost a month pregnant so they gave me some pills to start the process. I went into this room and they put me to sleep but I still remember seeing the lights and hearing the sounds of that doctor and the sounds of the tools that he used. Now I am 16 and a 10th grader in high school. Sometimes when I see girls my age having children, I regret my decisions but then again I know that I did the right thing. I did not wanna bring any child in this world because I knew that I couldn't provide. I never was for abortion before my experience, but now I know that everything happens for a reason. I haven't had sex since my abortion. I also plan on having children in the future but only when I'm married and when I'm sure that I am able to provide. --anonymous

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It was the summer before I started my sophomore year ...

It was the summer before I started my sophomore year in high school. My boyfriend and I started dating in December and he was my best friend two years prior. I found out I was pregnant in May, had an abortion in June, then found out I was pregnant again in July having another abortion in August. My mom was disappointed, my dad never found out, and my brother started hating my boyfriend. My experience getting the abortions was wonderful, as terrible as that is to say. I got the conscious sedation, took a little nap while it was happening. Before I was completely affected by the sedation, my nurse grabbed my hand and smiled at me and that made everything great because I wanted my mom there soo bad. The second time, no one held my hand but they were just as nice to me; it was very reassuring. My boyfriend and I are still together after 3 years and talking about having our first baby next year. Having the abortion made me a stronger person. -- Kristen G.

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Two and a half years ago ...

Two and a half years ago, 18 days before my 21st birthday, I found out I was pregnant. I was a junior in college and my boyfriend at the time was a sophomore. I took 3 pregnancy tests and went to PP to get tested, where it was confirmed. I had no money, no degree, thousands of dollars in loans already and I worked at McDonalds part time as a cashier to help pay my rent. My parents both worked full time and were helping put my brother and I through college and they didn't have the money to help me raise a child either. I also was dealing with undiagnosed bipolar disorder at the time, and though I was not diagnosed, I knew I didn't have the emotional stability to make it through a pregnancy without harming a potential child, let alone raising a child. I also knew at that age I didn't want kids, at the time or ever. I knew immediately that I really had no other choice but to get an abortion.

The wonderful people at Planned Parenthood referred me to three clinics in Columbus, Ohio where I could get the procedure done. I chose the one that was the cheapest and because it was the first clinic in Ohio to perform legal abortions. In Ohio, you have to go to two appointments. One is the where they test you and see how far along you are, and then they make you wait to see if you "change your mind" or to "seek counseling." The week before the first appointment and 4 days between the first and the second were some of the worst of my life. I was grappling with my decision and filled with guilt and horror over what I was experiencing. I had always been pro-choice, but I was the kind who thought it could never happen to me. I told three of my closest friends I was pregnant. They were all wonderful and supportive, which kept me going. All of those days, I skipped class and hung out with my boyfriend, who seemed as scared as I was. He was very supportive, but he seemed distant and guilty. I can't say I blamed him.

The day of the first appointment, my boyfriend drove me to Columbus in my car. The whole way, I chain smoked and was silent. We got lost in the city, and I started crying. We finally got there. There were no protesters, which was a great relief, because seeing them would have made me leave. We went inside, where we waited for like 15 minutes before they called me back. I got an ultrasound, and as I suspected, I was barely a month along. The ultrasound tech was around my age and asked if I wanted to see it. I said no. She told me it was smaller than my pinky nail, which somehow made me feel better. Then I went to talk to a doctor about my options. He said I could get a medical abortion (the pill) or wait 3 weeks to get a surgical abortion. I chose a medical abortion, even though it was more expensive, because I knew I couldn't stand to be pregnant any longer. I needed resolution, and I needed it over as quickly as possible. Four days later, I went to my next appointment. I was still sick over what was happening, but I was more confident in my decision. The doctor gave me the mifepristone at the clinic, and I had to take the misoprostol the next day at home.

The day I took the misoprostol was very intense. I won't get into the details, but once I knew I had officially terminated the pregnancy, the emotions were overwhelming. I can't even describe them to this day. It was a mixture of elation, confusion and horror. Doing it at home was a mixed bag. I was completely aware of what was happening, which wasn't pleasant, but I also avoided surgery and anesthesia, which was also good. It was also comforting to be somewhere familiar, so the procedure didn't seem so alien. My boyfriend stayed with me, but not during the "bad parts." I was in pain for a few days afterward, but I was able to go to my friends' house and eat pizza and cry. I ate a lot of crackers and took a lot of Vicodin. I felt exhausted, physically and emotionally, and my emotions were up and down.

About 5 days later, I went in for the follow-up appointment. The doctor checked and everything had gone perfectly. I was no longer pregnant and the procedure was officially finished. I got back on birth control, because missing 1 month of birth control was what caused the pregnancy in the first place, and I was on with my life. The doctors and nurses at the facility where I went were all really wonderful and gave me the names of counselors and hotlines I could talk to and told me to come in if I had any physical issues. I never saw one protester. Overall, medically, it was perfect.

The months following the abortion were difficult for me, emotionally. I had a lot of trouble dealing with it. I knew I had made the best decision for me and for my boyfriend too, but it still took me a long time to accept it. I think I had some form of PTSD or something. I eventually told my mom about it and she was wonderful, which resolved a lot of the issues I had, because I had kept it hidden from my parents, and I am very close to them. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which I know contributed to the absolute roller coaster of emotions I had after the abortion. I started dealing with the issues I had surrounding my abortion in therapy, which really helped me. What helped me the most though was having friends, a boyfriend and a mother that supported my decision and told me I was strong for making it and treated me the same as they had always treated me. Honestly, the person who was hardest on me for it was myself.

It has been two and a half years since I made the decision to get an abortion, and I am happy to say that I am completely at peace with myself with the decision now. I won't say I didn't have any psychological trauma, because I did. I know now that, despite this, it was the best decision I have ever made for myself. I am 23 now, I have a degree and a full time job, I live in my own apartment and I recently got a cat, which is the proper first step toward adulthood for someone like me. I am no longer with the boyfriend I had at the time, but he remains one of my best friends, partly because we shared that experience. I wasn't ready to have a child back then, just like I'm not ready now. I am grateful I was able to continue to mature and grow as a person without having to raise I child I didn't want and couldn't provide for emotionally or economically. I am very happy and stable now. Personally, I don't ever want to have children, and I am thankful that I was able to make that choice when I was 1 month pregnant, instead of one year into a child's real life. Going through that experience really forced me to grow up and face my demons. I am just grateful that I live in a country where I have that right and that choice. -- anonymous

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I was 19 and in love ...

I was 19 and in love. The first in my family to go to college, to break from the cycle of economic despair. 5 months shy of not being a teenage mother, the test came back positive. Two time zones from my boyfriend, I was so alone. I sat on a Civil War battleground and made the call. I couldn't go through with it. He supported me no matter what. I would have been a good mother, he would have been a good father. But neither of us would have been the best we could be though. Now 6 years later, I rest comfortably knowing I made the right decision--for me, for him, for the child we didn't bring into this world. Only him and only I know this. It's time to end the silence. -- Laura

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I had an abortion because I had been laid off from my job ...

I had an abortion because I had been laid off from my job and had no income for months, I had no health insurance, and the father was in Iraq and did not want to keep it. We are still together 2 years later. The only thing I regret is the situation, not the abortion. I wish I had a stable life and could have kept it. The abortion itself was very traumatizing and was absolutely the worst time in my life. Because of this experience I wish to never be pregnant ever again. -- anonymous

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Many years ago I was lucky enough to obtain an abortion ...

"Many years ago I was lucky enough to obtain an abortion at a Cleveland abortion clinic. Access to that service has made all the difference in my life and in my health. Alerted early in the pregnancy (3 weeks) that I probably would not carry the foetus to term - and that I faced many severe and threatening complications should I decide to remain pregnant, I chose abortion - an alternative presented and recommended by the doctor attending me. I didn't then and do not now feel guilt or regret about that decision. I have often been asked by friends why I don't mind admitting I had an abortion and why I felt it was the right decision. I made a healthy choice. Abortion is a medical procedure to help women and partners determine when or if they will reproduce. Period. I would never worry about any other sort of operation that helped me maintain my reproductive health - why would I think differently of abortion? I would probably feel the same if my reason for getting the abortion had been economic or social or relationship related. My second "no regrets" reason is that three months after the abortion I was pregnant again. I carried that child to term and had one other child. They are happy very productive adults - but they might not be here o might not be so happy and doing so well if I had not had an abortion. For me abortion was an alternative that relieved a great deal of stress, a good deal of illness. Legal, hygenic, openly available, affordable abortion services are necessary and right. Just as many of us seek to take back the night, we should also seek to take away the stigma of having made good sound healthy choices." -- Christine Sell

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